Triggering: I don't feel so happy

[Flixxs]

Idk if it is triggering but I labeled it just in case..

I have slid very far down into sadness again. I thought maybe I would get over it eventually but apparently it still is not going to go away..

I feel depressed, unwanted, ashamed, liar, worthless, unloveable, ugly, can't do anything right, stupid, childish, immature, self loathing, pained, alone, secluded, forgotten, selfish, misunderstood, and the list goes on....

Help me.

I want help

I don't know how to ask and I am scared that people will think I am just doing this for attention and will not like me at all anymore. I am scared. I don't think my parents will believe me. Or they might think the other did something wrong and get into a big fight. Or they might just say "That's life." or "Get over it at least you don't have cancer or something". I'm scared. I am scared of myself what if I hurt myself really badly? What if I lose to myself? I don't think straight when I am in an episode! I have hurt myself before!
My boyfriend doesn't even know just how much pain I am in and I tell him everything, but I can't tell him right now, his best friend died three days ago and I don't want him to worry about me along with dealing with the pain of losing someone close.

Please and I don't even totally understand what is making me feel this way but if it gets much worse then Idk what I might do and it feels awful. omg. help me please. I don't know what to do or think about this anymore. I thought it would go away but it's been around since summer started and has progressively gotten worse..

And I go to college and my mom is in both of my classes and I can't really go to a counselor or anything because of that... and the friends I have told just do NOT understand what I say when I tell them I am sad and depressed and hate myself and everything!! They think that I am just being like a normal teenager but I know that this is NOT how I should be feeling if I was just being a normal teenager.

[Beautiful_mind]

sometimes its hard to shake the saddness have you tried talking to your local doctor? they can be a good place to start. Sometimes its hard to talk to our parents and find the right words writing your mum a letter maybe easier for you to share your feelings with her. hope this helps a little i am always here for a chat just pm me.

[Mixtape91]

I'm sorry your feeling so awful,
Theirs always help out there so don't give up looking for it. Admitting and recognizing you want help is great and a huge accomplishment. You could talk to your doctor or find another counselor who has no relations to your mom. If not, is their a trusted adult you could talk to? Don't give and keep strong!

Feel free to PM anytime

[.:Bibliophile:.]

Hey there,

I am sorry you are feeling so badly but please hang in there because you will be okay and things will get better.

Now, I think the best thing to do is to talk to your parents about this. I know it will be hard but they will be able to get you the help that you deserve. And, if they think you are doing it for the purpose of getting attention that is their fault and not your own. From experience though I think telling them is the best thing and whatever happens happens and you can deal with it when it comes. If you think to far ahead of yourself you are going to let these what if thoughts get to you and stop you from helping yourself. Please do not allow them to interfere with you getting help because when you get help it will be a great feeling.

Please hang in there and if you ever need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna