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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Train tracks - September 29th 2009, 09:03 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i travel by train at 2 times a day and usually when im at the train station i wonder what it would be like to just jump out in front of the train and have it squish me. sometimes i find myself wanting to jump just wanting to jump sometimes i can almost feel my legs go forward abit as the train comes like im ready to jump but i dont, i cant. i want to jump but i cant. i dont wana live but theres something stopping me from jumping. the thing is i know my dad would not miss me, well he might miss shouting at me and trying to hit me, and sometimes he does suceed, or manages to physically hurt me in another way. but apart from that he woud not miss me, and i know my sisters would not miss me as they have both said to me i hate you, and one of my sister even told me to go and die so they wouldnt miss me. and my mum wouldnt miss me she would be fine because if im dead theres no arguments with me and my dad.
   
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Re: Train tracks - September 29th 2009, 09:02 PM

Hey there,

I am sorry you are feeling so badly but I want you to know that you would be missed. I know sometimes it doesn't seem like that but the truth is that there are people in the world who would miss you. Your family may say things but I bet they don't fully mean it. Sometimes people say things to hurt the ones they love but when it comes down to it they really do not mean those thing. I bet it is the same with your family.

As for your dad, I am sorry that he hurts you but please know that not all people are like this. And, just because he hurts you does not mean the rest of the people in your family would not miss you.

Have you ever considered moving out or getting some counseling for you and your dad? I know that it might be difficult to make one of these decisions but they are a lot better than harming yourself.

The thing is that if you harm yourself you will never get to experience the good things that are sure to come your way. You may feel like you do not want to live right now but in the future you will be glad that you held on. Good things are bound to come your way.

Have you ever tried to call a hotline? I know that they can be really helpful and the people can help you through the hard time you are having. I called a hotline once when I wanted to kill myself and the person helped me through that urge. Maybe the same thing could happen for you.

Here are some hotline links:

http://www.befrienders.org/
http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f3-general/t22-hotlines/

Please consider calling a hotline and talk to someone, okay?

If you haven't already I would suggest that you also talk to a counselor about all of this. A counselor can help you deal with all the things that are causing you to feel this way. I know a counselor has helped me. It always helps to talk about the things that are bothering you instead of keeping them bottled up. And, if you find the right counselor they will talk to you and help you figure out ways to over come these feelings.

Here are some links that might help you find a counselor:

http://locator.apa.org/ (USA and Canada)
http://www.therapistlocator.net/ (Pretty much all over)

If you are interested in finding a therapist/counselor these links might be able to help you in your search.

Please hang in there and know that you can and will make it through this.

Jenna


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