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Lil Offline
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Exclamation i dont want to die??..random crying?? - October 1st 2009, 07:18 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Well i wasnt sure where to put this and i kinda putting 2 things together instead of making seperate threads for them o well...
Ok so i dont cry a lot,im teenager so i now i can get emotional at times but crying just isnt me.Well the last month or so when im left by myself il have these random crying fits sometimes theres a reason and often there isnt.I now ive been feeling upset a lot lately,but its just weird.Like today for example as soon as my mom left me alone in the house i just broke down crying for no reason,i havent cried for like 3 yrs and now all the sudden i am like nuts, i hate feeling so weak like this for no reason.
Secondly is even though i cut, i dont do it cause i want to die but i have been thinking about suicide recently but not to the point that i would actually go through with it i dont think.Like for example yesterday for example when i was in the bathtub i thought about drowning myself.weighing all the pros and cons in my heads.I actually had my head under the water till i was feeling dizzy,completely out of air and then stopped myself,thinking of all the people it would hurt if i did drown myself.In a way i regret thinking of it but in another way i dont.I scare myself with these thoughts.Is it normal to think of drowning your self and actually almost going through with it(this is not there first time ive done this either)..........?any advice would be appreciated.

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Cut free since March 6th 2013
Purge free since March 8th 2013

Last edited by Lil; October 1st 2009 at 07:24 PM.
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firecracker Offline
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Re: i dont want to die??..random crying?? - October 1st 2009, 08:13 PM

First off: x 100. I'm sorry you're feeling like this.

The random crying thing, to me, sounds like hormones. I've cried at the drop of a hat at times, and I've talked to other girls who have too. So do worry about it too much, it sounds perfectly normal.
However, flirting with suicide is dangerous. I'm glad you don't want to die, but if you've seriously gotten to the point of weighing the pros and cons of killing yourself in your head, and actually started to go through with it, you need to tell someone. That is not normal.

I think the best thing for you to do is tell someone you trust what's going on. A friend, teacher, parent, doctor. They can help you get back to the point where you would never consider suicide.

Again, I'm sorry you feel this way. If you want to talk more, PM me anytime.
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crying, dierandom

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