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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Name: Megan
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Unhappy Thinking about it... - October 4th 2009, 01:33 AM

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I've like thought about suicide before, but I was able to push it out of my head. But, lately, it's like I don't even try to push it out my head. I've though of the numerous ways I could... I would... I've been writting rough drafts of suicide letters, I've been thinking of my own funeral, and I've just been ready to give up. There's just a part of me that feels to bad for whoever would find me, or for my cousin, or maybe one or two of my friends who would actually care. Plus, I'm just affraid. I know that's pathetic...but I'm too scared to do it. I don't want to go to Hell, even though according to a lot of people, I'm going to Hell regardless..I dont' even know anymore....
   
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Re: Thinking about it... - October 4th 2009, 11:59 AM

Hey there Megan,

I'm sorry that you're having these suicidal thoughts, it can indeed be scary and they can also be rather difficult to battle with. You don't deserve to feel this way.

If you are considering suicide and/or have a suicide plan then it is essential that you do talk to someone about how you are feeling as soon as you can. No one wants you to hurt, Megan, but I'm sure a lot of people want you to feel better than you do right now (which is completely possible) and many people would like to help you with that. There are so many people you could talk to, including relatives, family friends, teachers, principals, guidance counsellors, school nurses, coaches, medical professionals or even emergency workers. You are not alone and there is no need to struggle with this by yourself. Sure, it's very difficult to tell people how you're feeling but sometimes you need to do things, rather than want and right now it seems as though you do need some extra support, which is fine, Megan. Everything can work out. If you're not confident enough to speak to these poeple then perhaps you could write them a letter or phone a hotline first. Please do try and talk to someone.

There are so many reasons to live and you may want to remind yourself of those things - there is a big list of them [here]. You are able to 'get better' and still experience all of those reasons to live, all of the new opportunities that will have in the future and good experiences. You can change things Megan, if you're willing to reach out for that help. Things can get better if you work out the problem and do try and change the the things that are bothering you, I'm sure that's possible.

Take care of yourself.
   
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