Triggering (Suicide): Why am I here.

xXblurXx · **Why am I here. -** October 5th 2009, 05:57 AM

I am going to caution some of you that I am going to get kinda... deep in this.

Why the hell am I here. Why did someone put me here if they knew I was just going to end up wanting to kill myself? Im addicted to self harm and I feel so close to killing myself... I don't have a psychiatrist or does my family know that I'm like this. I cant seem to tell them...and every little detail in my life seems to make my life even worse...my self esteem keeps getting lower and i dont seem to be in the best condition...would someone even care if I died? I am bawling as I write this and i...dont know what else to say...what should I do?

CherriesBlossom · **Re: Why am I here. -** October 5th 2009, 03:29 PM

I know it seems like everything is working against you, but you were giving this life because you are strong enough to live it. Killing yourself isn't the answer. It can be hard to tell your family suckh things but you really should try and tell them how you feel and how your being effected and what your doingto yourself. They will help you to thier fullest. Talking to a psychologist and getting your feelings out there will be different and might take some time to let your true self come out but if you really want to better yourself and be set free of your depression then take these simple steps. It is worth it. It seems like nothing is worth it but i know in my heart you are worth all the time and effort in the world to help you feel better.

Good luck and feel free to PM me anytime!

*Jen* · **Re: Why am I here. -** October 5th 2009, 05:52 PM

Hey Blair,

It sounds like you have got an awful lot going on for you at the moment. The thing is Blair you are keeping this all to yourself and no one knows how you are feeling so no one can help. If you told your family just how low you are feeling and about what is going on then they would be able to support you through this. You shouldn't have to go through all of this alone and if your family knew then I think it would be a huge weight off you. I know it is a huge step to take to tell someone but it will be worth it. If it meant things changing and you being able to be happy then surely it is worth it. The sooner you tell someone the sooner things can begin to change.

Of course people would care if you died. I bet you have touched many peoples lived and would be missed greatly if you were gone. There is always someone that cares even if you don't think so.

I hope you do manage to talk with your family. I am always here as well if you ever need someone to talk to so you are more than welcome to PM me. Stay strong