TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives    The Holiday Resource


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ic12pr Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
ic12pr's Avatar
 

Posts: 1
Join Date: October 6th 2009

21 y/o musician going bonkers. just need to vent... - October 6th 2009, 03:05 PM

I might be 21 but I still have dumb teenage problems. This might be all over the place and hard to understand, but I need to ramble about all kinds of things, and if anybody out there has advice that would be great. I do have asperger syndrome, which isn't really a big deal... well, I guess it is, since my main personality trait stems from it. I have a very, very narrow field of interests, and get overly obsessed with certain things to the point that my entire life is wrapped around them. Since I was 10, that thing has been music, and almost every single friend or activity I've participated in since then has been somehow tied to it. For instance, every single friend I've ever had since the age of 10 has been through music. I have absolutely nothing in common to talk about with other people, and anybody who doesn't understand my love for music I find intolerably boring to be around. Occasionally focus will change to some other subject for a few months, but it's always back to music. So, I guess I'm light thousands of other teenagers out there, heh... Anyways...

Right now, I am 21 y/o and recently moved back in with my parents, who live in a rural area with nothing to offer me. I had to move back in because I've been getting into legal troubles that drained all my money, so I couldn't afford to pay rent in the city. I couldn't manage to stay out of trouble this summer. Since then, all I've done it sit at this computer and play video games all day, every day. I've always been the kind of person who hates to sit inside and do nothing, but that's changed. I have absolutely no desire to do anything. I do not want to go look for a job, because for one, we are in a rural area where my options boil down to coal mining, factory, fast food, or possibly call center work if I'm lucky. I have not been to college so I've no hope of getting anything that isn't a dead end job. So, I've just been sponging off my parents. I don't want to go out to do simple things like pick up a couple groceries... I even have a problem leaving my room if my parents are home. I don't want to be around them, to be seen or anything. I just want to sit here and do nothing, just playing my instruments and video games. Ignoring the real world as much as possible.

Obviously, that's not healthy. What other options do I have? There is nothing here. Let's say I forced myself to be productive and get a shitty job, then what? I would still just want to sit here. I used to try so hard to get away from this place, working hard and doing everything I could to move away. I've done it many times, but this time I've lost the desire to get out. I don't want to go back to the city with all my friends. I could have all the money in the world and I'd still want to sit here and be left alone to play games and music...

I'm not really sure if this is a sign or symptom of anything. Depression, nervous breakdown? Something else?

I've always been antisocial but this has gone to new lows. I'm not sure what do do. I've sat here for two months and been perfectly content with it. But now lately more emotions have been popping up. I'm extremely irritable and feel like I'm just a zombie. I have very quick and short bouts of anger and sadness almost being to tears. Nothing triggers them... I will just be doing something and suddenly go into a horrible moodswing. If I'm not having one of these swings I just feel empty. Nothing makes me laugh or feel bad... I just kind of float here as if I'm just observing my life and not taking part in it or caring about it.

I'm not sure what's going on I just feel bad and don't know to do about it... and part of me doesn't want to do anything, even though another part knows I should.

I sound like a bumbling idiot and I'm sorry you have to sit here and read this shit. I can't talk to anybody I know about this stuff... anonymous posts on the internet are all I have.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
BDF Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
BDF's Avatar
 
Name: BDF
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Location: Europe

Posts: 2,523
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 28th 2009

Re: 21 y/o musician going bonkers. just need to vent... - October 6th 2009, 10:10 PM

There's always a reason for why you feel the way you feel. I worked that out a while back. It ain't always straight forward, you might have to sit down and think hard about it.

What it sounds like though... is that you are too sick of the idea of following the same route as others around you, getting the same job, getting maybe that little bit of money, which won't make any difference will it?

What you really want to do is music, so do it to the full. Obviously you need some cash of your own to survive, so I suggest you talk yourself into that, and you might be able to pull yourself together and actually do it then. You have to start somewhere, and pretty much most of the world revolves about money now, it's a fact.

Do get together with other people and do something with your music. I'm sure you must be pretty good at it if you say that you are as obsessed with it as you are, and you should do alright if you actually do something with it. What happens when you actually start doing things, and progressing... it encourages you, to do more. At least you know what it is you like doing, a lot of people have no clue what it is they like.

I don't know for 100% if what Ive written might make sense. I'm pretty tired right now, but I hope it helped.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
ThePunkAlien Offline
Member
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
ThePunkAlien's Avatar
 
Name: Josh
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Location: Hollywood USA

Posts: 777
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: 21 y/o musician going bonkers. just need to vent... - October 8th 2009, 04:25 AM

Hey man, another twenty-one year old here that still sees himself as more of a teenage than adult. I mean, what is an adult anyways? When does one make that step? No idea, but think, if makes sense, we're more akin to those five years younger and five years older than us and twenty five (or so I hear, is when one become an "adult")

Anyways, I'd say it might be depression. Went through one a while back, hope it doesn't come back. Maybe the best thing for you to do right now is look for the root problem of what's causing it. To make yourself get out there more no matter how hard it seems. Also, don't turn to substances to numb it out - only makes it last longer, trust me man, worst mistake I made before. Compare it to a storm, it always passes.

As for the job thing, maybe you could start a band. Those who have problems or those who are broken succeed in the kinds of "jobs" that inquire creative attributes and from the sounds of it yours is definitely music and THAT is what you should do and focus on. And trust me, you can get there - I just got there in my field, film. Using that as my escape route, I got into a start-up gig over at Warner Brothers. Just focus everything in your life on that and you'll get somewhere. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when - see things like that and you're music will reach an audience. Just keep at it, and yeah, we might go bankrupt at some point because of it but that's normal when starting out.... (CHRISTIAN BALE (BATMAN BEGINS) EVEN WENT BANKRUPT when starting acting and looking at where he is now, that says a lot - that's the norm). Just keep at it, not if - when.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
bonkers, musician, vent, y or o

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.