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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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a_girlsdreams Offline
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Ugh. - October 7th 2009, 11:53 PM

I dont know whats wrong with me.
Im just sitting here crying.
Ive been so strong, so good for the last ten days.
Why am I so weak right now?
Come on.
Stop crying and pull yourself together.
Im holding it all in.
I dont know how much longer I can do this.
I need a drink.
I need to cut.
I need to smoke.
I dont want to be weak.
I hate this feeling.
I dont know why Im crying.

My heart.. Hurts.
I dont feel alive.
Im so damn empty tonight.
Im so alone.
Im so everything.
Ugh.

What is my problem?!
Get over it.
   
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Re: Ugh. - October 8th 2009, 02:36 AM

Holding in your feelings is not good. It is one of the causes of my depression. You can only hold them in for so long before they have to come out, usually in a self destructive way.
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Re: Ugh. - October 8th 2009, 02:42 AM

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. Depression really sucks, and I wish there was something I could do.

First off, PLEASE DON'T CUT. It will only make you feel worse. There are a ton of ways you can express your feelings without harming yourself. Allow yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
The best thing you can do is tell someone. A parent, teacher, school counselor; they can get you the help you need right now. I know it may not feel like it, but there are a lot of people in this world who care about you. They'll help you get to where you can be happy again and that's what you deserve.

If you ever need to talk, PM me.
   
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Re: Ugh. - October 8th 2009, 03:18 AM

Hey there,

I am sorry you are struggling right now but things will get better. Sometimes it really doesn't seem like it but in the end all things work out.

Now, I want you to know that crying does not make you weak and expressing your emotions is a good thing to do. You know when you bottle your feelings up it only makes things worse because all these feelings are being locked inside and they are just waiting to explode. And, when they explode it is not a good thing because everything seems to unravel.

So, please try to express your emotions but do it in a positive way cutting will not accomplish anything because all those feeling are going to be buried away inside of you again; just waiting to pop out again.

I am going to give you a link to self-harm alternatives. These can be really helpful but you need to know that they sometimes take a while to really kick in so please do not give up on them.

Alternatives to Self Harm - TeenHelp

You know, one thing that I found really helpful when I was dealing with such horrible sadness was keeping a journal. I know that sometimes it can be hard to write your feelings down but when you do you get some of the bottled up feelings out and you are doing it in a positive way. Also, when you journal you might get some insight into why you are feeling so lonely.

Here is a list of things that you can journal:

Complete the sentence/describe the phrase using whatever comes to mind:

-I am the one who....
-First Grade Memories (Could be done for all grades/ages)
-Yesterday I....
- I believe....
- I can.....
- Sunshine makes me feel...
-My Dad
- My Mom
- My Grandma
- My Grandpa
-if I could be doing anything right now, I'd be...
- What if...

Violence…
-In 20 Years I'd Like to Be....
- Favorite memories
-My family

- Good things about me are…
- Something/s I keep secret are…
- How It Feels to Win/Lose
- I'm thankful for...

- The first thing I remember....
- My hero
- No one would believe me when/if…

- Something people usually don't notice about me is...
- Places you like
- Places you dislike

- Do you accept yourself as you are, or would you like to be someone else?
- Answer this question," Have I in any way done something that has hurt my parents?"

- Has anyone done something to hurt me?
- I'll never forget_______.
-Free Association. Write anything and everything that is on your mind.


Personally, I like the last one the best but sometimes I don't really have anything on my mind so the other ones help me to begin the journal entry.


I think that you should consider talking to someone about this as well. I know that it might be hard but letting people know how you are feeling can be really helpful and they can help you to start feeling better. Do you think you could give that a try?


Please hang in there and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to pm me.



Jenna






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