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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Unhappy Please help, I don't know what to do :( - October 13th 2009, 06:21 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I posted on here last week about how I emailed a teacher about my depression etc. and how worried I was. Well, she didn't email back, but she did get it. And I went to see her about it last Thursday, and she was lovely saying oh that explains a lot etc. and saying I can go and see her anytime etc. But she did say that she can't do anything, as she's not a member of the pastoral team, so if I tell her something big or something, she has to talk to someone higher up - now that should be my house mistress, who I don't really get on with (lonnng story) so she said she could talk to one of the other house mistresses who is the only teacher who knew before her...Which is ok. But my counsellor thinks I should tell the school in general about my depression etc. Because its gotten so bad recently, and he thinks - I agree, though I hate to admit it - that I may do something really really stupid if I carry on in this vein. He thinks I'm what he terms passively suicidal - basically I don't want to commit suicide, but sometimes I see really no way out, when I'm in really dark places...And he thinks that school have to know so that they can lay off about work, ucas etc, or it will be bad. But I don't know what to say/do.
I could talk to the teacher I emailed, but then I would have to talk to this higher up teacher anyway, so I think maybe it's easier if I go and see her just straight up, if that makes sense...But I don't know whehter I should email her, asking when she is free. Or email her asking that and explaining a bit further (remember she does know about my depression - just not how bad its got and about SH etc)....I just...I find this so so hard to talk about, I just haven't got the courage to do it...I know I'm a coward.
BUt i know that my counsellor's right - it has got too bad to do nothing...
Also I guess I'm worried about how the school may handle it, I'm nearly 18, but not yet, so they can still tell my parents. Obviously my parents know about the depression etc. But they don't know how much worse its got or anything...PLease help me, I feel so crap right now
   
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Re: Please help, I don't know what to do :( - October 13th 2009, 06:33 PM

Hey there,

First off I want to say that you are not a coward. You had enough courage to go to your teacher and tell her what was going on so you can gather the courage and do this too.

I know how hard it can be to tell people about the depression and the SH and the suicidal thoughts but I believe it is in your best interest because the school can help, hopefully, lower some of the stressors in your life(that pertain to school). It will be hard but it will be worth it in the end.

As for telling the teacher; there are a lot of ways you can do it. Firstly, you can ask the teacher you told to come along with you for moral support. I know it helps to have moral support. Or you could write the head mistress a letter and explain everything to her in there, take the letter to her, let her read it while you a present and then the two of you could discuss what should be done.

It will be difficult but from what you have said you can and will make it through this.

On a side note; I am not sure what they will do about your parents but your well being is more important than that and as hard as it is you need to tell them even if there is a possibility your parents would find out.

I bet that your parents would be glad you talked to the school and tried to get help for this before it got out of hand. They love you and want what is best.

I hope this helped and best of luck.

Jenna


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Re: Please help, I don't know what to do :( - October 13th 2009, 06:33 PM

Heya,
If you want the school to be more understanding about they way you act due to your depression you'll need to tell them. Though, in my school I've found that telling one member of staff is enough for half the school to find out, but that's just my school I guess, it tends to have it's own way of doing things.

If it were me, I'd do it by email. It tends to be easier that way, I don't know about you but I can'y express myself verbally without screaming or crying. The longer you leave it the worse it'll get. And really, things can't get worse from telling them.

I don't know if this is something that only works in my school, but I find that telling them that you've already discussed it with your parents can avoid the school calling your parents.

Hope I've been of some help.

Sezza xxx
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Re: Please help, I don't know what to do :( - October 13th 2009, 06:38 PM

Hey guys, thanks for replying

I think I will email the teacher and ask to see her and hint at what I want to say. OUr school has this great pastoral system, just a bit complicated with this sort of thing I think...Also, I want to make sure they say the right thing if that makes sense - if it went from one teacher to another to another etc. Thinks might get exploded and/or ignored that i really don't want to be...So I think I need to talk directly. I could take that teacher along for support...But I think two teachers woukd be even worse than one teacher....I would be even less likely to be able to say anything.
I am certainly not going to the headmistress, she is new and doesn't really know me at all, and i don't like her that much.
I think I do need to tell my parents, but they still know more than anybody else except one friend - so its not like I'm leaving them out of the loop. I was kinda going to say basically my parents know, to try and avoid them rinigng home. Its not so much that they wuold be told stuff they don't know, more that they'd get even more worrieed, putting tehir relationship under even more pressure. which makes me feel worse...So I want to deal with that in my own time...
Thanks again xxxx
   
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