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What Next? - October 14th 2009, 10:41 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I am so depressed, I feel awful. On top of it every major thing in my life right now is going to shit. I'm in therapy, I'm on medication..so what am I supposed to do now? I consider suicide nearly every day. I've talked to my therapist about it and my mom kind of knows, but I don't think they realize the extent. I know there are so many great people out there, but in the past 8 months the people in my life have only hurt me and let me down. People are rude and terrible, I know that's part of high school, but I can't deal with it. Comments and looks just hit me so hard.

I feel like I have done everything I can and I have lost my hope. I don't want depression to get the best of me, but I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to be here. I have fought and fought to be happy and I'm tired of fighting so hard it's exhausting. I love my family so much and I feel so guilty that I would leave them grieving. I know it's selfish but I feel that I have done all that I can and I cannot handle it any more. I want to cease to exist..I want to die.
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Re: What Next? - October 15th 2009, 06:36 AM


I am sorry you are feeling this way but I want you to know that things can get better you just have to give it time.

I think it is great that you are in therapy. I know from experience that therapy can do wonders the key to it is that you have to give it time to really work. Keep on talking to your therapist because that is the only way that he/she will be able to help you.

As for the medication; I know that it sucks to have to be on medicine but if it has the potential to help you feel better than keep on trying it. I use medicine and there are days that I hate it because I feel like a freak but the truth is the medicine is helping us and we don't, necessarily, have to be on it the rest of our lives. Sometimes people use medicine just to get through some really rough patches and then as time goes on and they get better the doctor and the patient come to the conclusion that medicine is not needed anymore. This could happen for you as well.

Please do not harm yourself because life really does have a lot to offer you. I am going to give you a link to some Hotlines and I suggest that the next time you feel really low you give them a call and see if the people there can help you out.

I am also going to give you a link to some songs that have helped me continue on even though I was feeling really low.

Hold On (To Hope) NEW - TeenHelp

Sometimes music can be a really good remedy for all the sad thoughts rolling around in your head.

Lastly, I am going to give you a link to Reasons to Live - TeenHelp. This link gives a bunch of really good and sometimes silly reasons to keep holding on.

Something you could do is make your own reasons to live and then sticky them all over your room so that anytime a bad thought goes through your head you can see the many reasons to live and keep hanging on.

Please hang in there and if you ever want to talk feel free to pm me.


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