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SomeRandomGuy Offline
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Ex-Girlfriend Suicidal - Possible triggering - October 19th 2009, 01:44 AM

I'll start by saying I know I;m no teen but I was on this community before and they were always very helpful and I'm running out of places to turn. Let me also say she left me and we're still very close friends..or were... I'm not the reason.

My ex-girlfriend's been depressed for years but due to her complicated family situation and her own depression, getting her help was hard and we hadn't managed. It's been gradually worse and I was too useless to help her.. now she is suicidal and often talks about wanting to die.. Tonight she told me her plan, and how she'd do it. I won't get into that due to it being triggering possibly. It won't be tonight but... maybe this week.. so I panicked... Since I'm a loser and don't have my license yet, I begged my dad to bring me to see her..she lives about an hour or so away... I tried calling to let her know and she didnt answer...Against my better judgement I tried calling again which pisses her mom off and by extension her.. She yelled at me and before i could tell her she hung up. She called back 15 minutes or so later when we were about 1/4 there. Asked calmly what was up and I told her and she went off the rocket and flipped out on me, demanding I turn around and if I showed up she'd never forgive me, then said she hated me and hung up... On the way home she signed on MSN and from my phone I messaged with her..she found out my dad was driving me and it got worse still.She said I just HAD to stress her out more and that I earned a cut...She then said she hates me, she'll tell her mom and I'll never be allowed to see her again and she doesn't want to ever see me hear me or talk to me ever again.

So now I;m terrified im going to lose her for good and if I do I WILL lose myself... I'll either do it myself too in an emotional fit of blind pain or I'll end up in a deep depression and lose my job probably and change completely. I don't know why I'm asking for advice since I know theres nothing I Can do! I can't call her and it wouldn't help probably..I cant call the police or w/e and tell them shes suicidal because she'd lie through her teeth and id DEFINITELY never see her again...I can't tell her mom even if she listened to me (she hates me) cuz she would probably either not believe me or instead of helping her, would yell at her. I can't drive up there tomorrow AM, hope she's alive, and drag her to the hospital, because I cant drive and she wouldnt go along with it anyway and id get in deep shit with the law and/or her mom probly and her too.

Too long didn't read version:
My ex is probably going to kill herself and I'm losing my mind..There is nothing I can do and I can't take this!
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Katrina Offline
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Re: Ex-Girlfriend Suicidal - Possible triggering - October 20th 2009, 01:10 AM

Hey there..

You're in a tough situation right now. I urge you to read through our hotlines thread which can be found here: [http://www.teenhelp.org/hotlines]. The volunteers who answer these calls have been trained for many, many hours about what to do in situations like these. They will be able to advise you on how to help your ex-girlfriend, or what steps you can take.

Honestly, you need to take care of yourself. It's not selfish, and it has to be done, or you guys are both going to be in a little bit of a messy situation. So, while it's lovely and noble to help your ex (I think you're a super nice friend for that), you must keep yourself sane and stable. It's hard to help someone else when you feel pretty lost and desolate yourself, you know?

Please, do call the hotlines. I honestly don't know what to tell you to do - you said it yourself, there's only so much you can do, and it sounds like her mental state needs to be put in the hands of someone more capable such as a medical professional. For her to tell you that you "earned a cut" is not appropriate, particularly when you're trying to help her. So, do know that you didn't "earn a cut" - once again, you were trying to help.

Take good care of yourself.

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SomeRandomGuy Offline
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Re: Ex-Girlfriend Suicidal - Possible triggering - October 22nd 2009, 05:38 PM

Thank you Katrina.. .She has apologized for saying that I earned a cut and she is doing slightly better but she's still at risk.. I'm weighing out the situation right now..and I do occasionally call the hotline for advice. I'm gonna do my best, and thank you, you're not the first to tell me I need to take care of myself too.
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exgirlfriend, suicidal, triggering

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