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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Thumbs down why bother? i deserve abandonment. - October 20th 2009, 10:28 PM

I'm having a hard time remembering why i keep trying. i know it's important and that things can never get better if i don't keep trying. but i hurt so bad. i feel bad just saying that i hurt. i feel close to giving up. and i don't know why. i have friends, a mostly supportive family, good grades, a future. but, i feel like i'm worth none of it and can't shake the thought that if i show them that i'm still feeling like this, they will desert me. it's happened to me before on multiple occasions. and i feel like it might be what i deserve to be abandoned.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: why bother? i deserve abandonment. - October 20th 2009, 11:15 PM

Hi Lindsay

Im sorry you feel the way you do. Would it help if I reassured you that you are not the only person your age that feels the same way, your growing up, turning into an adult. You will go through happy times, bad times, conflicting times and joyous times. And many more....

You musnt blame yourself for feeling hurt. Its not your fault.

I will remind you why you are trying. You want to be happy, you dont want to be upset and frightened. You dont want to be non existant, you just want help

You mentioned you dont deserve what you have.....thats not true. Every posistive thing you do, you deserve.

There is no way in the world you should be abandond. Just because you are going through a stage of depression, doesnt mean you should be abandoned, in fact quite the opposite. You deserve help.

If your afraid of what your family think, then try writing a letter to them to explain how you feel.

Or if you cant do that, then try talking to the doctor, or a teacher, or a family friend, or someone.

Its not fair you suffer alone.

I hope you get through this, I believe and have faith in you

Jaymi
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: why bother? i deserve abandonment. - October 20th 2009, 11:18 PM

Hey Lindsay,

The point in bothering is because you are worth it and so is your life. It might not seem it right now but it is so you shouldn't give up. You are right that things can't get better unless you keep trying. You have to keep going because it will get easier in time. But you will never get a chance to experience that if you give up. You have come a long already Lindsay, which shows how strong you are. Use the strength inside of you, which I know you have to help you get through this.

It seems like you have got loads of good things going for you. You do deserve it and are worth it. I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself! Stay strong.
   
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Re: why bother? i deserve abandonment. - October 22nd 2009, 05:35 PM

I'm sure that if they knew you were feeling this way, they'd be heartbroken and do what they can to help you. From what you said they sound like they're supportive and I know they love you. Stay strong!
   
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