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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
LoveFever Offline
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I feel so stuck. - October 26th 2009, 11:06 PM

I don't really know where to start with this.
I'm a senior in high school now, in the middle of college applications, making plans for the rest of my life, and I don't know, I just feel really weird about all that. Like, the life I know is disappearing right before my eyes. I don't know what I'm going to do, where I'm going to go to school, where I'm going to live, who my friends will be, and I have to figure all of this out in less than a year. It's all just happening so fast, I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it on my own. I've got my parents, but they're so old, I feel like it's been too long since they've gone through this.
I've also got some friend issues going on. I've started to question how much my friends value me. They just seem really distant, not like they used to be. I go through friends pretty quickly, never with the same group of people for more than a year or so. Maybe it's just that they're distracted with the college app process, too, they just seem so strange, not as close to me as they used to be. I've also go some people who seem to be living just to make my life hell. it seems like they go out of their way to ridicule and make fun of me. I know that's kind of a ridiculous thing to say, but it's just how it seems at the moment.
I also havenít been on a date in almost two years. I know that doesnít seem like a big deal, but it is. Iím one of those people who needs someone like that in their life. It just makes me feel so much better about myself and makes me feel really wanted and loved.

I know I should be more grateful for all the things I have, but itís just getting so hard. I donít have a plan for my life, so why bother living it, I have no idea what Iím doing. I donít get along with anyone, so I feel like no one would really miss me, besides maybe my family. Everything just makes me feel so hopeless, and everything reminds me of how much of a failure I am.
I havenít cut in almost a year, but itís getting harder every day to keep myself away from sharps. Even school is beginning to be a trigger for me. Weíre learning about depression in Psychology and weíve been talking about self harm. I donít want to miss the lesson, so Iíve been staying in class, but it makes me really uncomfortable.

I donít really know what I need, itís just getting really hard for me to stay safe and positive.
   
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Re: I feel so stuck. - October 27th 2009, 12:57 AM

LoveForever,
Maybe this is not what you want to hear, but what you are going through is normal for people your age and you're gonna be ok.
But do not cut yourself. I'm younger than you, and I cannot say I know exacly all about the problems you have, but I have cut myself and it didn't exacly make me feel better and I know it dosn't help anyone. The stuff about the physical pain overcoming emotional pain is bullcrap!
It only makes everything much worse.
For now, just chill out. You'll be fine, I promise)))
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Re: I feel so stuck. - October 27th 2009, 01:01 AM

Hey there,

I'm so glad that you decided to reach out for help here. You're going through a really tough time, and we all need support through such times. You are so brave, so strong for trying to get through this.

Senior year is a tough time for all of us. We're all on the cusp of becoming adults, and trying to make serious decisions about our education and future. However, it doesn't have to be all bad. Remember, you can always change your major or transfer schools. You're not completely trapped in the decisions you make; as difficult as it may be, try to relax. Go with whatever feels right to you.

You don't have to do this alone; reach out, just like you did here. Your parents may be on the older side, but that doesn't mean that they've forgotton what it's like to be young. Let them know how school and all this pressure is affecting you; they may be of more help than you know. Friends are also great during this time; they can relate to you more than most. Don't be afraid to seek help; you deserve to not feel so down, and talking about these things can help quite a bit.

As far as your friends go, remember that this is a very difficult time for them, as well. They could be experiencing similar feelings to yours, and this could make them seem more distant. If you're worried, talk to them about it. Let them know that you feel left out and lonely, and that you need them now more than ever. I'm sure they will understand and do what they can to help fix the situation.

Stay strong. I know this is so hard right now, but you can get through it. Just keep holding on to hope. Things will get better, you will be happy and these stresses will melt away. Take care, and if you need to talk about anything, feel free to send me a PM.


[/url]
"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

Motion City Soundtrack, "Even If It Kills Me"
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