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shaddowdaisy Offline
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Something off... - October 28th 2009, 02:03 AM

I've always been a little off. I have no sob story about a tainted childhood. I had a good childhood. I enjoyed life then. It was all so simple, then. About 8th grade is when I started feeling like it was all kinda coming apart, I lost my interest in a lot of things, and I felt very disconnected from my friends. I began cutting one night after my parents came down on me about my grades. I hated and idin't understand it at the time, not that I have a full understanding now. I continued this for 4 years, my parents pretended not to see the scars. I had off an on times, but throughout all of it I felt...off. I just didn't seem to enjoy things. It is as though a drape had been put over my eyes, colors weren't as bright, light wasn't as light. I wasn't in an endless black hole, but I just wasn't happy. I lied a lot, for no reason. Finally the begining of my senior year of high school I decided i didn't want to deal with the monotony anymore, I was done. After a shift at work I took a bottle of pills that I had read can kill you. I went home and my parents knew something was up and took me to the ER, I was brought in and they figured out what I had done. I went to a short term rehab. I cannot say that the rehab had any effect on me, it was pointless. I lied my way through, and I got out with a prescription for Cilexa and a diagnosis of an anxiety disorder and dysthimic depression. The pills helped, for a while, but now, part way through my freshman year of university I feel like I'm floundering again. I don't know what to do. I know if I told my parents I was struggling they will pull me out of University and put me in a long term treatment. I don't want that, and I don't know what to do.
   
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KoKoEm Offline
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Re: Something off... - October 28th 2009, 02:30 AM

Hayley,
Maybe you can see if there's a doctor there who you can talk with and see what they think? Maybe just talking to someone you grow to trust or trying out a new medicine would help? I'm sure there's something a doctor could think of trying before sending you away to a long term treatment.
Good luck. If you ever wanna talk about anything that's like, going wrong, send me a PM. =]
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Re: Something off... - October 28th 2009, 12:19 PM

Hey there, I am so sorry to hear that you feel this way. I think the best thing to do would be talk to a counselor or a doctor and maybe they can help find something that works for you. Maybe even write your feelings down so that can better help them understand how your feeling. No matter what remember theres always hope even when you feel like your drowning. There is always a way out and you will find it eventually just hang in there and talk to someone cause keeping it in aint good. Remember everyone here is cheering for you cause we love you and know you can do it PM me if you wanna talk <3


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