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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
flutterbye1990 Offline
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Name: Arwen
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Exclamation falling apart - October 29th 2009, 04:03 PM

i dont know what to do so i decided to write...

my life is literaly falling apart before my eyes and everyone thinks i should just push on through it.
they have no idea, im in so much pain, i cant do this and i just want to stop the pain im causing everyone.
i love my family and friends so so much, i cant even describe it and to see them so down and suffering so much because of me is tearing me apart. I already feel overwhelming guilt if i say the wrong thing to anyone so this is agony.

i dont want to do this anymore, i just want it to stop.
the memories, the nightmares, the guilt, the fears, the pain, why do i do this to everyone!
what is wrong with me.

The doctors dont want to help either, and my dick of a cpn cancelled my hospital referal to the psyciatrist but still doesnt help me when im seeing him. i cant tell him i want to see someone else because that would be cheeky and not nice and i'd feel really guilty for that but i cant see him anymore.
no one cares and no one wants to help.
what am i suposed to do ??
im trying so hard to get some help, to have someone care even a little but no, i dont blame them though who would want to help me....

god im so pathetic

i want to end it all, just end everyones suffering but i cant because people would be upset and i CANT upset people.

please i just want to finish it.


"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within"
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Palmolive Offline
Purr Purr Purr.
Jeez, get a life!
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Re: falling apart - October 29th 2009, 04:28 PM

Hello there.
Im really sorry to hear that you are feeling this way.

The truth is, if you really want to end everything right now, you can walk out of your front door, and do it. Its that simple. But why? I know it seems like the easy way out, but trust me, its not. Even if you do attempt it, theres no proff to say that its going to actually work. Attempting to end everything, gets you no where. If you want this to stop, you have to stop thinking all about other people, and how your issues are going to affect them, because it will carry one affecting them until you are better. If your not comfertable with a counciller/doctor or who ever it is you are seeing, you can swop, and its not cheeky or rude. They truly do want what is best for you. They do care for you.

You have to reach out and tell people the truth about how're your feeling, and what you really are thinking, because they need to know to have a chance to help you. I know its hard and i know you feel like its all falling apart, but help is there.

I would be devistated if anything happend to you. I know how it feels to feel like this. I know how bad it can get, but it doesnt mean you give up just because its hard.

Things have to get worse before they get better.

I'm always here if you need a chat so feel free to contact me. Dont give up, Stay strong, Talk the truth and reach out. Try think positive, and you can and will get though this. Take care of yourself okay
Jess x




"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
*Jen* Offline
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Outside, huh?
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Re: falling apart - October 29th 2009, 05:58 PM

Hey lovely.

It made me sad to read this and just how much you are hurting at the moment Sounds like you are really struggling and I feel bad because you have been there for me today. You know I am always here for you too although I am not in much of a position to help that much right now. But that doesn't mean to say I won't be there for you because you know how much I care about you.

I won't let you end it and will do whatever I can to stop you. I know how much of an amazing person you are. You have been there for me before and helped me. I just wish I could give your stupid CPN a kick up the ass! Because he doesn't sound helpful at all. Could you not go back to your doctor and say you don't like the CPN? It isn't cheeky or not nice. Some people you just don't click with and that isn't your fault. It is just like you don't get on with some people because you might have a personality clash or perhaps there way of helping isn't helpful.

I am sending you a big because I love you lots. You know where I am if you ever need me. Text me or whatever! Don't tell me it not important because it is.

Stay strong
   
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