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Name: Wendolyn
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: England, the original...not the remake

Posts: 17
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: October 30th 2009

So its come to this... - November 3rd 2009, 03:01 AM

I used to attend school, look around at those faces in classes, in the halls…and I genuinely used to believe I was better than them. It mattered very little what they thought of me, I didn’t care if they would make a snide comment or give me a harsh but pity-filled look, I was above it. They would be stuck in their dead end jobs, in their miserable, never-ending lives and I wouldn’t. I would be different. I, unlike the thousands before me and im sure after me have said, would really make something of myself. And now, all I can sit wonder is…was I ever that brainless? Was I ever that confident? Have I ever been so very…very wrong?

I always knew Prime Minister was a joke career I used to tell people. Politics was never something I could truly get my teeth into. But other things I mentioned weren’t a flying fantasy filled with humour and untruthfulness, they were authentic heartfelt ambitious, that at times, were all that kept my heart beating. They’re gone now. All possibility of the only type of happiness I was ever likely to grant myself, is rapidly slipping through my fingers and im…just a little lost and im just too frightened to act. And yet act, is precisely what I should be doing. I should have started my A levels in September…but I didn’t. I was so utterly terrified that it would all go wrong, just like my GCSE’s that I stalled. And im still stalling now, the beginning of November.

I would have never believed a few years ago I would be here now. I was more than just smart, I was ruthlessly determined and now im quickly approaching suicidal and feeling like such a fucking failure.


~ http://livinglabyrinth.blogspot.com/ - Living with anthropophobia ~
Or on a much happier note, follow me into the land of the labyrinth :-)
   
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