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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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I could be dead - November 6th 2009, 12:43 AM

I've had problems for a long time, but my real problems started last July. I started having panic attacks and crying and fretting a lot about death. I was scared it would happen any day, any time. After a long time suffering from that, I started taking Zoloft. At first, it helped. Then, probably as an effect of the medicines, I started having a suicidal state of mind. Like, if I was upset, I would think, "I should just kill myself," or "I should just die, because this will never get better." I stopped taking it, in hopes I would get better. Instead, I just got worse. here I am now, on the verge of things, thinking of suicide all the time, wanting to grab every knife I see and use it to gash my arm. I feel like I can't operate any more. I also have a strange sense of longing for my past, when I actually enjoyed life and had friends. I don't really have friends anymore. At least I feel like it. I think I'm seriously depressed, but I feel like I can't tell anyone I am in real life.
   
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Name: Karyn
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Re: I could be dead - November 6th 2009, 09:59 AM

why do u feel like you cant tell anyone in real life how you are feeling? When you stopped taking Zoloft, were you under a doctor's care? or did you decide to stop on your own? if you stopped with a dr, did you tell the dr why you wanted to stop taking meds because of the suicidal thoughts you were having? if you did, maybe you can see that dr again since you told them before. however, if you didnt tell anyone when you were stopping the meds, do you see a therapist or have you? is there any way that you could see a therapist? you dont have to tell your parents exactly why, you can just tell them that you are feeling down and that you want to have someone to talk to. if you find it hard to do that, maybe someone close to you can be there with u when u bring that up to your parents. i know that asking for help is a very very difficult thing to do. but once you get past that first step it becomes little bit easier.
if you need anything you can PM me.
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Re: I could be dead - November 6th 2009, 10:13 AM

Hey!
I go with Karyn about the dr stuff.
I have overcome depression, which I have been fighting for a long time, and I haven't thought about depression or suicide for about a couple years I think.
Some ways that helped me were listening to upbeat, powerful, positive (instrumental also) music, something that makes you laugh, and feel good about yourself.
And a simple smile on the face changes everything. It can turn your world over. Occupy yourself with activities and with your friends and family.
That really helps you stop think about depression. And affirmations help very much.
Keep affirming to yourself that you are a happy person, that you are able to cope with any difficulty that comes your way. The thing is, whatever you think of, even if it a joke, your subconscious mind absorbs it, so when you affirm, then you send only positive thoughts to your subconscious, and that helps release depression, anxiety, frustration, or any other unpleasant emotion. I'm talking about this being a psychology student as well as the fact that it has worked on me, although it will take some time.
I would also suggest looking up EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) on the net. You can Google it or something. It really really helps!

I hope I helped!
Take care!
Feel free to PM me anytime you want!
Hugs
xxx
Kaveri


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

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As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
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