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OurLovesSublime Offline
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Having trouble doing this alone... - November 9th 2009, 06:50 PM

I thought I would handle being a mother better than this, but these past few weeks have been really tough for me. I think I have some serious postpartum depression going on. But the thing is... it's not because I'm a parent now, and really has nothing to do with my son. I'm just so stressed. I spend most of my day alone. Before I had my son I moved in with my husband (at the time was my boyfriend) who lived a decent drive away. So when I came here I had no friends or family near by. Doing this on my own is just taking it's toll on me. I just wish I had someone here with me during the day.

This morning he started crying, and I just couldnt figure out what was wrong. I changed his diaper, tried to feed him, did everything I could think of... and I just couldn't get him to calm down. I ended up just laying him down, going into the other room and crying my eyes out. I just wanted someone there so bad. I needed help...

I go back to college starting next week and I feel like it will be nice to have some interaction with other people. I'm hoping it will do some good. It'd also be nice to maybe make a friend... but I've never really had any luck connecting with someone there. But really, all I can think about is how much more I'm going to be stressed because of extra school work.

I may be having one of my old friends over this weekend so I can get out for a bit, but there's a good chance she won't make it. Our plans always seem to fall through since she's so far away. But I honestly just don't know what I'm going to do if she doesn't. I feel like I'm relying on these plans to get me through the next couple weeks.

I really need help dealing with the loneliness. I just don't want my son to have a depressed mother because it's not his fault. I love him so so much, and I don't want to remember my first weeks with him as a sad time.
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Re: Having trouble doing this alone... - November 9th 2009, 11:39 PM

Hey Kristi,

I can't say I can relate to having a child, so I certainly can't specifically relate to the stresses that must come to being a mother. Nor can I related to the joys that must come your way either. However, I can understand the feeling of being alone and doing things on your own. It's a scary thing, and you're pushing through this like anyone else would. The only difference is, you're not giving up when you could and you should be proud of that soul fact. When others have and will give up, you haven't and won't. You just don't seem like someone to turn down a challenge. Which is a good respectable thing to have.

I know what it's like to have a lot of weight on your shoulders. It's overwhelming and sometimes feels unfair. My suggestion to you, right now, is maybe to join a mom club? I know we have special groups here for 'new' moms or 'single' moms etc. You could get a chance to talk things out with others and also get new suggestions on raising your baby. I've heard it was nice from people who have tried it. Also, maybe talk to your husband about this? I mean, he's the other half of the parenting squad and you both should be equally sharing the work. Maybe he can give you one or two nights a week that are simply for you. This way you can go out, relax or work on what you need to work on.

This is no way all your work and there is no reason you can't get a little extra help from someone. Also, before college starts, try and be positive. The work hasn't began yet, so there is no use in stressing yourself out before you're even at college. That will only make things harder to do as the days to go to college come closer. So, for now, be excited and take things as they come. Don't make things bad before they even have to get bad. They might be so much better than you expect.

I know things are hard right now, and it's even more hard because you're doing this with your own two hands, but things will get better and you will make/meet new friends and when you do, try and make time every so often to get together etc. Maybe you can have a few longer phone calls with long distance friends? It might help. Especially if the baby is crying, call a friend up and see if they can help you stay calm. It's worth a try. Your friends will be happy to help. : ) We're all here for you and if you need anyone to talk to or lean on, I'm only a PM away.

Have hope,

01 // 10 // 11

Baby stand tall. You can have it all.

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
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Re: Having trouble doing this alone... - November 10th 2009, 03:16 PM

Thanks so much for your reply, it made me feel tons better Today has actually been a lot better for me. I did a lot of thinking last night and realized I have no reason to be lonely. I have my son and my husband, and they're both wonderful. I just get a little overwhelmed trying to take care of a newborn all on my own while he is at work. And, it's just really hard for my husband and I to find personal time. But finding friends close by will come with time, and as the days go on it will get easier and I'll become more adjusted to taking care of my son. I always know my family is just a phone call away, it'd just be nice to see them more...

Thanks again
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