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Saria Offline
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I Just don't know - December 24th 2009, 09:38 AM

I just don't know any more. It seems I just go from one problem to another. Its too much and at the beginning I use to think about running away, then I started self harming and now I'm suicidal. I just can't control myself. There is so much that bothers me now that there is no beginning or end.

I have been feeling really suicidal lately and I couldn't handle it. It ended up getting that bad I couldn't trust myself and I knew I had to tell someone. I sent one of my teachers that I talk to sometimes and that I absolutely trust an email saying I wanted to talk but then the next day at school when she gave me the chance to talk I freaked out so she told me to try to talk to her the next day. It was too much though and I knew I stll wouldn't be able to talk to her though so I sent her another email explaining everything and that I was suicidal and I asked her not to say anything until she talked to me but she had to tell our principle so it ended up making this big mess.

I still wanted to talk though so i asked another person if i could talk to her but at the time she was busy then i tried again and she was busy and so on, so i ended sending an email to her as well. i told her i was unsafe and that i wasn't ok and that i still wanted to talk to her if it was alright but when she replied she said that she couldnt help then because she wasn't trained in that area so now i have no one else to talk to and i am really suicidal and there is no point in trying to get help because its obvious there isnt anyone that really cares and now i just dont see the point and i don't even plan and seeing christmas tomorrow because everything is pointless.

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wannabeangel Offline
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Re: I Just don't know - December 24th 2009, 02:10 PM

Hey Saria,

I understand how you're feeling. It's tough when it seems like nobody cares or understands how you're feeling. Don't give up though, there are so many people that would be deeply hurt if you did. If you ever want to talk about anything feel free to find me. I'm always here to help anyway I can.

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MaggzB Offline
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Re: I Just don't know - December 24th 2009, 02:14 PM


if you want to talk im here. I know what ur going threw i didnt got to a teacher but a close aunt of mine whom told my parents and at first i was so mad because i thought i could trust her and then she went telling my parents. ask for therapy? thats what helped me and here i am a year later suicide thoughts free SH free and depression free with out any meds. always remember there is always someone who loves you.


i love you <3
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Crescendo Offline
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Re: I Just don't know - December 25th 2009, 04:36 AM

I'm sorry you're feeling so down in the dumps right now.

I just wanted to encourage you to keep reaching out for help to people in your life if you feel you might act on your suicidal urges- parents, mentors, doctors, etc. If you've been having suicidal thoughts you may have a mental illness such as Depression. A lot of mental illnesses like depression are treatable with medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes such as balanced eating, regular sleep, and exercise. However, It is very very hard to go it alone. Your life is valuable, and with treatment things CAN get better. You've been alive this long. You've managed to not act on your urges this far. So I would guess that if you've been able to not do it until now, there must be some little part inside you that doesn't want to die. try to hang on to that tiny part.

If your teachers aren't getting you the help you need, try going to a guardian or other realtive, a doctor, a mentor, or a religious leader. You can always call a hotline like 1800Suicide in the US or 911 if you need immediate help.

If you are able to elaborate a little bit on whats going on in your life members here may be able to offer you more helpful suggestions of how to try to cope.

Also, even if you aren't having urges to cut the alternative to self harm list (its a sticky in the self harm subforum) may help you if you feel overwhelmed.

Your life is valuable.
You're NOT alone.



When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
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