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OneMoreDay Offline
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Question helping myself and a friend - January 11th 2010, 01:10 AM

so i've been depressed for over 2 years, not having the courage to speak out or anything. a few friends know, weirdly enough all of them are guys (i think in my head i'm too nervous that girls gossip) and i struggle with SH.
one of my friends is an ex (altho it was harder for him to get over me, and after a few months apart, we've gotten to be close friends again) and he has stopped me from cutting before by threatening to cut himself. he does have family problems: his mother is a neglegent parent and smoker, his sister completely hates the family, the father tries to hold everyone together and is fantastic, and the little brother is getting swept away in all of this. as the older brother, most of his rationalization for not doing stupid things is because his brother looks up to him.
he definitely doesn't fulfill his potential academically, altho his great character is admired by others, and he was elected team captain.
today, i couldn't hang out with him becuase of homework overload, and via text conversation, he admitted that he thought he was depressed.
i love him in the way that i want the best of everything for him, and i told him that he could always come to me to talk if he needed to. i want to be able to be there to support him and help him figure this out, but i'm struggling with basically the same thing myself. i don't know if i have the strength to talk to him about everything, while i'm being self distructive. i am trying to get myself to get help, but i always find myself running away from situtations where i'd find help. how can i help him when i'm like this? and how can i help myself?
   
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Johnny Walker Offline
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Re: helping myself and a friend - January 11th 2010, 03:29 AM

I am might not be the best person to give you advice on this because I'm in the same boat as you. Everytime an oppertunity to get help or even talk about the problem arises I find a way out.

The best thing I have ever done was join this site. Maybe you should encourage your freind to join also?

As for yourself: you seem to be on the right track, you've acknowlaged that there is a problem and you want to fix it. I think that the best way to find help might be by writying someone a letter or email telling them the situation. The closest I have come to getting help was when I wrote my parents a letter. It feels a lot easier to tell a piece of paper your problems than a person standin in front of you. I ended up throiwing my letter out, but maybe you can go a step further.

Good Luck


Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.
Kurt Vonnegut
Be content with what you are, and wish not change; nor dread your last day, nor long for it.
Marcus Aurelius
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Winston Churchill
   
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Re: helping myself and a friend - January 11th 2010, 12:37 PM

I agree with Johnny Walker.

I mean, if your friend wants help, here might be a better place for him to turn to, rather than further stressing you out.
   
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Jacksonian Offline
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Re: helping myself and a friend - January 12th 2010, 07:35 PM

Agreed with the above 2 posts. But I add this, try meditating. Spending sometime by yourself just thinking about your life and trying to see things in a different manner and in a different perspective is helpful too. Meditate and also spend sometime together. By this I mean as friends. As for him I suggest the same, by his family sticking together they will get through the problems they are having. Family strength will suffice in his problem.

As for you specifically, I suggest just enjoy life. As you still need to see more of the good side of life and the gift it is.

Last edited by Jacksonian; January 12th 2010 at 07:36 PM. Reason: addition
   
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