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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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ac2 Offline
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Really down - January 13th 2010, 04:55 PM

I've barely been able to move in weeks. The depression's worsened, a lot. I want to scream, but nothing leaves my mouth. I want to be dead. I find myself going back to the idea of suicide all the time. I need to get it right this time. I shouldn't be here anymore. Probably too stupid to do anything about it, though. And I know that I'm weak and stupid and all. I'm just having a minor meltdown over here... I feel so lost in my own violent silence. I want it to stop, just for a little while. But it's never going to truly end, is it?
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Re: Really down - January 13th 2010, 06:17 PM

Of course it's going to end. It may feel like you're in this forever and there'll never be a way out, but there always is. I've felt just like that before, feeling that I may as well be dead because it was never going to get better, and there was a way out for me, and there is for you, you just have to hang on and keep sticking it out. It's shit I know, but once you get through this you'll feel so good for surviving it, you'll be so strong.
Please don't feel like you're being weak or stupid, in no way are you those things. And please never feel like you shouldn't be here anymore.... of course you should. Youi have to show yourself that you're strong enough to get out of this. I know how hard it can get but I believe that if I was able to get out of it anyone can, I really hate to hear that you're feeling olike this.
You'll be ok honey, really. And you know we're always here.

Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
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Re: Really down - January 13th 2010, 06:22 PM

Thank you, that means a lot to me
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Re: Really down - January 13th 2010, 06:57 PM

just wanted to encourage you to reach out for help to people in your life because it sounds like you may have a mental illness such as Depression. Many Mental illnesses like depression are treatable with medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes such as eating balanced meals and getting enough sleep. It is however very very hard to go it alone. Your life is valuable, and with treatment things CAN get better.

I just want to say- if you're hoping for a disney style happily ever after- it's no wonder you're so bitterly diappointed in life!

I think that its problematic to hope for a disney movie happy ending, because thats not what life is. in the disney movies the get married and live happily ever after. i dont believe in "happily ever after". have you ever heard that cheesy miley cyrus song- the climb? i think it talks about how love is not a destination- its a journey. once you find a guy who loves you, or get that job, or what ever doesnt mean you'll be happy from then on. have you heard the saying "happiness isn't a destination- its a journey"? there will always be things to deal with in life, but i think that it is possible to learn how to still enjoy life and be at peace with life, even with stress.

Ask yourself "If I was happy, how would life be different than it is now?" It may be hard to imagine if you've been in emotional pain for a long time, but try to write as much as you can about what your life would be like. Then try to pick out the things in your "happy" life that you actually have control over and can work towards. Something like winning the lottery isn't realistic, but there are probably going to be several things that you do have control over. Make them specific and realistic goals.

the only thing you can count on is change, so why don't you stick around? This too shall pass. Things get better, things get worse, but it won't be this way for ever. Don't be afraid to ask for help. your life is valuable.

You're NOT alone.


When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
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