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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Still no help - January 17th 2010, 05:28 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have been depressed for about 4 years now. I have been cutting for 2.
Lately things have been getting really bad for me because at my new school i legit have no friends. my closest friend left me in my time of need. And i feel empty without him. I have shown my interest again into going to a hospital. If i do go this will be my fourth time going to a hospital. I have been going to therapy for four years. I go to a group for teens like me and have home therapy. It seems like there is no hope for me. Really i've been through so much therapy and in just the past week i've tried to kill myself over 10 times. And if i do go to the hospital there may be a chance that i have to repeat 9th grade. Plus my insurance is basically used up from my last hospital visits. I really do not know what to do. I'm miserable and alone. I need someone's help. I've already given up hope but i'm still going to try


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
lea-x-fallen Offline
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Re: Still no help - January 17th 2010, 05:53 PM

the best thing to do is tell yor parents, or whoever you can that yopu thionk can help. but its important to remember depression does go away, i know how you feel, ive been depressed in the past and i am now. but things do get better. if you want to talk just message me. i really dont know what to say, other than dont kill yourself, there's always soemthing left to live for, its just hard to find sometimes


leave me alone i'm not an angel

and i know i'm losing my mind for no real gain

<if you want to get out alive, run for your life>
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
kokorocks Offline
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Re: Still no help - January 17th 2010, 06:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lea-x-fallen View Post
the best thing to do is tell yor parents, or whoever you can that yopu thionk can help. but its important to remember depression does go away, i know how you feel, ive been depressed in the past and i am now. but things do get better. if you want to talk just message me. i really dont know what to say, other than dont kill yourself, there's always soemthing left to live for, its just hard to find sometimes
I've told my parents and many adults and also my therapist. But thank you i'ts nice to know someone cares


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lea-x-fallen Offline
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Re: Still no help - January 17th 2010, 06:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kokorocks View Post
I've told my parents and many adults and also my therapist. But thank you i'ts nice to know someone cares

your welcome, and i mean this talk to me anaytime, because talking does help, thats how one of my friends cheered me up without me actually seeing him. so i'm here for you. i hope you feel better soon!


leave me alone i'm not an angel

and i know i'm losing my mind for no real gain

<if you want to get out alive, run for your life>
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
kokorocks Offline
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Re: Still no help - January 17th 2010, 06:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lea-x-fallen View Post
your welcome, and i mean this talk to me anaytime, because talking does help, thats how one of my friends cheered me up without me actually seeing him. so i'm here for you. i hope you feel better soon!
I definitely will talk to you. Thank you <3


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Re: Still no help - January 17th 2010, 06:24 PM

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Originally Posted by kokorocks View Post
I definitely will talk to you. Thank you <3

your most welcome, i hope this works for you.


leave me alone i'm not an angel

and i know i'm losing my mind for no real gain

<if you want to get out alive, run for your life>
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Still no help - January 17th 2010, 08:52 PM

I'm very sorry to hear about how upset you are.
If your parents aren't helping you, and your Therapists aren't doing anything for you, you can talk to me if you want! I've been through about 3 years of depression and 2 years of cutting in the past and got through it, so I can probably compare to alot of the feelings you are having right now. It does get better, and it does go away and you feel alot better about life and eventually, you will realize that life is a beautiful gift and worth living. I had a near death experience and it made me realize how quickly your life can end, and made me realize I didn't want to die, I wanted to live, and as I waited and matured, I realized the good things in life that are worth living for, the people who would be crushed if I had killed myself. It's not worth killing yourself because you are going to miss out on so much.
It's not hopeless. This may be a suggestion that might help, but if you go on YouTube and look up Good Charlotte's Hold On video, that video really gave me a different outlook on life and perhaps it might help for you. It's sad but it carries a message, an important one, that shows you people would be left to mourn if you died, people will care, and you're going to miss out on so much if you give up. If you hang strong, you're only going to get even stronger with time and be able to take things on easier.
   
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Re: Still no help - January 17th 2010, 10:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon.Kingdom View Post
I'm very sorry to hear about how upset you are.
If your parents aren't helping you, and your Therapists aren't doing anything for you, you can talk to me if you want! I've been through about 3 years of depression and 2 years of cutting in the past and got through it, so I can probably compare to alot of the feelings you are having right now. It does get better, and it does go away and you feel alot better about life and eventually, you will realize that life is a beautiful gift and worth living. I had a near death experience and it made me realize how quickly your life can end, and made me realize I didn't want to die, I wanted to live, and as I waited and matured, I realized the good things in life that are worth living for, the people who would be crushed if I had killed myself. It's not worth killing yourself because you are going to miss out on so much.
It's not hopeless. This may be a suggestion that might help, but if you go on YouTube and look up Good Charlotte's Hold On video, that video really gave me a different outlook on life and perhaps it might help for you. It's sad but it carries a message, an important one, that shows you people would be left to mourn if you died, people will care, and you're going to miss out on so much if you give up. If you hang strong, you're only going to get even stronger with time and be able to take things on easier.
Wow thank you...that helped a lot


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Re: Still no help - January 18th 2010, 04:02 PM

Hey-

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so down in the dumps. I too have been struggling for a long time, about 4 years for me too. I have been in the hospital 4 times, and residential once for 6 weeks. I've seen 3 different threapists, and my current therapist says the kind of therapy i'm doing (one of the only kinds of therapy that is proven effective for one of the disorders i have) isn't working. I've been on 13 psychiatric medications in combos of up to 5 at a time. I too have been feeling suicidal because i am still incredibly depressed and nothing seems to be helping. I feel trapped and out of options, and suicide seems to be the only way to end the pain. So I think maybe we can relate.

Let me tell you what has been keeping me going:

sometimes when i feel like people would be better off without me i watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv2DyzhxpA0 its a music video that is about suicide, and has real parents whose kids killed themselves talking about how hard hard losing their children. the video is only a few minutes long and may make you rethink if you believe that your family would quickly move on.

We all need somebody to lean on. Reach out for help and support from people online, at a hotline, or who you know and trust. If you think it would be a burden, imagine that you had a friend who killed themselves and in the note said they didn't reach out for help to you because they didn't want to "bother" you. asking for help now will be a lot less painful/burdensome on another person than killing yourself would be. if words aren't doing you justice, try art!

distrac(hey look a butterfly!)tions. coloring in coloring books. getting out of the house and reading in a coffee shop. playing solitare. masturbating. get creative!

sleeping. a lot

relaxing. taking a hot bath. curling up under a blanket. drinking tea. tightening all my muscles and then one by one letting them relax.
-square breathing
take very slow deep breaths. inhale for two counts, then exhale for two counts. as you count inhale one – two, exhale one two picture a side of a blue square forming (or any other calming color) for each count in your mind. so each inhale is two sides of a square, and each exhale istwo sides, creating a full square.
-Visualization.
In this technique, you form mental images to take a visual journey to a peaceful, calming place or situation. Try to use as many senses as you can, including smells, sights, sounds and textures. If you imagine relaxing at the ocean, for instance, think about the warmth of the sun, the sound of crashing waves, the feel of the grains of sand and the smell of salt water. You can also use visualization to imagine yourself doing well in an anxiety provoking situation- a sort of mental rehersal.

fear of afterlife. mean i think most people who consider suicide are crossing their fingers that your spirit doesn't live on after death.
but there are a lot of people and religions who don't believe that. in a lot of religions that believe in heaven and hell- like christianity- suicide is just as bad as murder and is a ticket to hell. i dont believe in hell, but a lot of people do, so its good to take it into consideration, just in case. people say hell may be a lot of different things- but none of them sound all that fun. and its an eternity of feeling like shit where you cant kill yourself.
some eastern religions believe in incarnation. but that seems risky too. i mean, what if you come back as a child sex slave or something? that would suck.

picking the lesser of two evils. if it comes down to suicide or another harmful behavior, pick the other harmful behavior that will keep you alive (just dont be mean to anyone else!) cutting, smoking, drinking, starving yourself, sleeping around, maybe not the BEST coping skills. but if your desperate, and it will keep you alive, why not? check out the book "Hello, Cruel World: 101 alternatives to suicide for freaks, teens, and other outlaws" by kate bornstien. she has quite a few unconventional suggestions to staying alive.

Also, working towards goals has made me feel more in control. I use this website called 43things.com which is where you make apublic list of goals and get support as you post progress on them. Ask yourself "If I was happy, how would life be different than it is now?" It may be hard to imagine if you've been in emotional pain for a long time, but try to write as much as you can about what your life would be like. Then try to pick out the things in your "happy" life that you actually have control over and can work towards. Something like winning the lottery isn't realistic, but there are probably going to be several things that you do have control over. Make them specific and realistic goals.

Please don't hesitiate to VM or PM me if you want to talk more, I think we might be able to help each other out.

You're NOT alone

Megan



When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
-grey's.anatomy-
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
kokorocks Offline
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Re: Still no help - January 18th 2010, 05:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crescendo View Post
Hey-

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so down in the dumps. I too have been struggling for a long time, about 4 years for me too. I have been in the hospital 4 times, and residential once for 6 weeks. I've seen 3 different threapists, and my current therapist says the kind of therapy i'm doing (one of the only kinds of therapy that is proven effective for one of the disorders i have) isn't working. I've been on 13 psychiatric medications in combos of up to 5 at a time. I too have been feeling suicidal because i am still incredibly depressed and nothing seems to be helping. I feel trapped and out of options, and suicide seems to be the only way to end the pain. So I think maybe we can relate.

Let me tell you what has been keeping me going:

sometimes when i feel like people would be better off without me i watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv2DyzhxpA0 its a music video that is about suicide, and has real parents whose kids killed themselves talking about how hard hard losing their children. the video is only a few minutes long and may make you rethink if you believe that your family would quickly move on.

We all need somebody to lean on. Reach out for help and support from people online, at a hotline, or who you know and trust. If you think it would be a burden, imagine that you had a friend who killed themselves and in the note said they didn't reach out for help to you because they didn't want to "bother" you. asking for help now will be a lot less painful/burdensome on another person than killing yourself would be. if words aren't doing you justice, try art!

distrac(hey look a butterfly!)tions. coloring in coloring books. getting out of the house and reading in a coffee shop. playing solitare. masturbating. get creative!

sleeping. a lot

relaxing. taking a hot bath. curling up under a blanket. drinking tea. tightening all my muscles and then one by one letting them relax.
-square breathing
take very slow deep breaths. inhale for two counts, then exhale for two counts. as you count inhale one two, exhale one two picture a side of a blue square forming (or any other calming color) for each count in your mind. so each inhale is two sides of a square, and each exhale istwo sides, creating a full square.
-Visualization.
In this technique, you form mental images to take a visual journey to a peaceful, calming place or situation. Try to use as many senses as you can, including smells, sights, sounds and textures. If you imagine relaxing at the ocean, for instance, think about the warmth of the sun, the sound of crashing waves, the feel of the grains of sand and the smell of salt water. You can also use visualization to imagine yourself doing well in an anxiety provoking situation- a sort of mental rehersal.

fear of afterlife. mean i think most people who consider suicide are crossing their fingers that your spirit doesn't live on after death.
but there are a lot of people and religions who don't believe that. in a lot of religions that believe in heaven and hell- like christianity- suicide is just as bad as murder and is a ticket to hell. i dont believe in hell, but a lot of people do, so its good to take it into consideration, just in case. people say hell may be a lot of different things- but none of them sound all that fun. and its an eternity of feeling like shit where you cant kill yourself.
some eastern religions believe in incarnation. but that seems risky too. i mean, what if you come back as a child sex slave or something? that would suck.

picking the lesser of two evils. if it comes down to suicide or another harmful behavior, pick the other harmful behavior that will keep you alive (just dont be mean to anyone else!) cutting, smoking, drinking, starving yourself, sleeping around, maybe not the BEST coping skills. but if your desperate, and it will keep you alive, why not? check out the book "Hello, Cruel World: 101 alternatives to suicide for freaks, teens, and other outlaws" by kate bornstien. she has quite a few unconventional suggestions to staying alive.

Also, working towards goals has made me feel more in control. I use this website called 43things.com which is where you make apublic list of goals and get support as you post progress on them. Ask yourself "If I was happy, how would life be different than it is now?" It may be hard to imagine if you've been in emotional pain for a long time, but try to write as much as you can about what your life would be like. Then try to pick out the things in your "happy" life that you actually have control over and can work towards. Something like winning the lottery isn't realistic, but there are probably going to be several things that you do have control over. Make them specific and realistic goals.

Please don't hesitiate to VM or PM me if you want to talk more, I think we might be able to help each other out.

You're NOT alone

Megan
Than you that helped a lot <3


  Send a message via MSN to kokorocks  
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