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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
o0lostlove0o Offline
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Simple Emptiness. - January 18th 2010, 04:37 AM

Is life supposed to be this way? I suppose not, but anyways...

Lately, I've been feeling just empty. I don't know who I am, where I'm going, what to do. I have tons of things I need to do -- homework, prep for SongFest, sleep, get off the computer and help my parents. But I have no drive to do any of them. I just acknowledge that they're there, and it just slips away. I don't care.

I feel like I'm more closed than ever to anyone. My family, my friends, classmates. I feel like I'm too selfish if I ask for help or rant to someone else. I know how to deal with it on my own -- writing, crying in the locked bathroom, talking to God. But it's never enough.

And there's no one there to listen.

I feel empty, useless, pathetic.
There's nothing out there in life for me right now. I've lost hope and faith in anything that used to mean something to me.
I know that right now, I'm just doomed because I have to be doing a lot of homework. But I can't bring myself to do it. It seems pointless. I can't focus. I can't think. It's just...blank.

Playing guitar or piano doesn't mean the same thing anymore. Writing, I have no time.

Why is it like this?
The only thing that's keeping me from killing myself is my faith in God. I just...everytime I think about these things, I want to get rid of it. I hate it. I hate myself for thinking like this.
The only thing that's keeping me clinging on to life is God.
But I'm barely living as it is.

Can someone help me? Please?


[ Life ] keeps going on,
No matter how much it
hurts.
Just take a deep -- breath -->.
< Smile. >

And move on.

   
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Re: Simple Emptiness. - January 18th 2010, 04:54 AM

Well, has anything drastically changed in your life lately?
   
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Re: Simple Emptiness. - January 18th 2010, 05:04 AM

Drastically?
I wouldn't say so.

It's been the same for a while. Only other factor that disappeared from my life, I would say, is the fact that someone used to listen before.

But even before that, this...emptiness has been here.

So I'd say no, not much has changed drastically.


[ Life ] keeps going on,
No matter how much it
hurts.
Just take a deep -- breath -->.
< Smile. >

And move on.

   
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Re: Simple Emptiness. - January 18th 2010, 05:32 AM

I'd say the best thing you can do is find someone who will listen. If your parents or friends (which I wouldn't really consider friends) don't have the time, then you can talk a school counselor or one of us here. You can PM me anytime and I'm sure a number of other people would love to listen as well.

You say that you aren't doing the things you love because you don't have time for them. What's taking up the time? If it's schoolwork and it's getting too stressful, then just do bits at a time. If you're writing an essay, give yourself a reward for each paragraph finished.

You need to be the one who forces yourself to get out and do things. It's hard for me sometimes, too. I constantly search for excuses, but it seems lately I just go with it. Before I would tell my friends I was sick or I had too much work, but now I just get up and go. It's not because I want to, because often times I don't, but I make myself do it because I know it's the only way that I'm going to get better. I realize that when I do hang out with my friends I feel good, so you have to let it transform into wanting to go. But don't ever feel selfish when asking for help or talking to people. If they're worth it, then they'll listen.


Waitin' for my ruca.
   
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Re: Simple Emptiness. - January 18th 2010, 03:40 PM

just wanted to encourage you to reach out for help to people in your life because it sounds like you may have a mental illness such as Depression. Many Mental illnesses like depression are treatable with medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes such as eating balanced meals and getting enough sleep. It is however very very hard to go it alone. Your life is valuable, and with treatment things CAN get better.

Ask yourself "If I was happy, how would life be different than it is now?" It may be hard to imagine if you've been in emotional pain for a long time, but try to write as much as you can about what your life would be like. Then try to pick out the things in your "happy" life that you actually have control over and can work towards. Something like winning the lottery isn't realistic, but there are probably going to be several things that you do have control over. Make them specific and realistic goals.

the only thing you can count on is change, so why don't you stick around? This too shall pass. Things get better, things get worse, but it won't be this way for ever. Don't be afraid to ask for help. your life is valuable.


Megan



When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
-grey's.anatomy-
   
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Re: Simple Emptiness. - January 21st 2010, 03:14 AM

Then begin to care about those responsibilities.

This is what you should do --> If you want to stop thinking like this, then stop. And go do those things you need to do. You can stop thinking like this because God gave you self-control.

Then after time you will find that which your heart desires. But you won't find it just sitting and acknowledging but not doing.

Last edited by Jacksonian; January 21st 2010 at 03:15 AM. Reason: addition
   
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Re: Simple Emptiness. - January 22nd 2010, 12:14 AM

BE HAPPPPPPPPPYYYYY!
   
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