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Unhappy How can I help her? - January 19th 2010, 05:53 AM

A beautiful sixteen year old girl I'm getting kinda close to doesn't want to live anymore. She feels like she's always just screwing thing up and making it worse for others. Her parents don't treat her well. She gets migraines nearly every day that she can't do a thing about. She has medication for them but they don't help much. She's gone to numerous doctors and specialists and none of them know how to help her. When she sleeps, she dreams of killing herself. Jumping off cliffs. Overdosing on pain medication. So she keeps herself awake as long as she can at night and as a result only gets 2 or 3 hours of sleep. She never is hungry and can't even remember the last time she was, so she forces herself to eat a little bit each day and lies to her parents about already eating. Her grades in school are falling because she doesn't care much about finishing her homework. She thinks she's stupid, so she doesn't feel like she could go to college. So she doesn't think she could ever get a good job. She's never had anyone who has always been there for her. She feels lonely. She's held all of her feelings, frustrations, everything inside her whole life so she thinks she can just continue doing that. I've tried getting her to go to someone such as the school counselor to talk to but she refuses, says she doesn't want to talk to anyone; just wants to be gone. I promised to keep her secret, and I feel that if I betray her trust and tell an adult, it'll push her over the edge because I'm probly the one she has trusted the most her whole life and if she can't trust me, who can she?
   
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Re: How can I help her? - January 19th 2010, 05:59 AM

Well you should just keep trying to convince her to seek help. It sounds like she has Depression. And the bad thoughts CAN go away, and possibly the migraines too (some anti-depressants are also used to treat migraines, according to another user on here on anti-depressants for their migraine problems). So maybe let her know that its not hopeless. That if she goes to a doctor/councellor, and if they say shes depressed, they will try to help her with anti-depressants and therapy. Let her know theres no point in cutting her life so short when she still has options to live a happy existance.
   
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Re: How can I help her? - January 22nd 2010, 02:31 AM

First of all, well done looking out for your friend. Now onto the issues ;
Confidence. That is one major component i see lacking in your friend and one which you should begin to help her cultivate.

Trust. Since your friend refuses to talk to someone, you will have to be her connection to the outside world. So if you are up for it, you need to be strong for her. Also, don't tell her you told us, even though it is for her own good, she won't see it that way. This will take time to build, so you need to be patient.

Talking. Let her talk to you. Talk with her and offer her advice on how to deal with problems. And in addition to talking, you will have to spend alot of time with her so that she can get some raysof good influence which will help her in all her battles with her personal troubles.

Other relationships. For those other relationships which she feels she is hurting, the best way is to stop thinking like this and to do her part in being a good friend to those other friends she has. The dreams are images of what is in the back of her mind. Things she isn't confronting. I suggest you spend sometime together meditating for the first time and then the times that follow she can meditate herself. Spend time confronting these very issues and talking about them.

The issues she is having can be resolved in a much better way, ensure her that.

Last edited by Jacksonian; January 22nd 2010 at 02:32 AM. Reason: addition
   
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