TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
alonealways Offline
^.^
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
alonealways's Avatar
 
Name: Jessica
Gender: Female
Location: Texas

Posts: 230
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: August 19th 2009

</3 :'( - January 20th 2010, 10:43 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Everything I ever lived for.. shattered today.

Okay so a while back in summer I had the option to live or die. I wasn't breathing correctly and was having a serious asthma/anxiety attack. If I fell asleep I would stop breathing and at points I refused to wake up. But the guy I really really like (I've liked him for a year now) was standing next to me crying begging for me to wake up. I felt horrid so I did.

He's also the reason I haven't committed suicide. Because last time I told him goodbye he was crying again and told me how much I meant to him. I told him how I felt about him and he said he didn't feel the same way but he still really cared about me as a friend. (He said the same to this girl.. let's call her AJ.) AJ has liked him since like the third grade and it's kinda nuts. She's a bit of a stalker if you ask me.

Well this guy and I always talk. And we talk a lot and so many people think that he likes me. He says he doesn't and I respect that but everybody else thinks he likes me. I've been trying to get over him for more than a year now.. And it's just so hard cause not only is he the first guy I've ever trusted or talked to or liked. He's the first person I ever told about my self harm and suicide.. because he's the only person that's cared enough to know. Anyway, today AJ interrupted my conversation with the guy (we talk before we split off to our separate classes after third) to ask him to formal. She knows I like him, he knows I like him.. and yet he grinned, blushed and got super giggly and cute and said yes. Right in front of me.. they hugged for like a full minute and I felt like throwing up and crying.

I've been crying all day and now I just want to die. My entire reason for living.. and now it feels like it's pointless and over. )': I don't know who to turn to anymore..

I'm really sorry this is long..



   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
AmyIsLegit Offline
(:
Average Joe
***
 
AmyIsLegit's Avatar
 
Name: Amy (:
Gender: Female
Location: A beautiful place.

Posts: 169
Join Date: January 4th 2010

Re: </3 :'( - January 20th 2010, 10:56 PM

I'm so sorry. And I'm not just even saying that. You have so much more to live for, though. Your an amazing person, and nobody would want you to commit suicide. That was extremely rude of "That guy" and AJ to do that right in front of you! But I don't know what else I can say. Just keep hanging on. For all the people that love you in real life, on here, and me.


Second chances; They don't matter.
People never change.
  Send a message via AIM to AmyIsLegit Send a message via MSN to AmyIsLegit Send a message via Yahoo to AmyIsLegit Send a message via Skype™ to AmyIsLegit 
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
alonealways Offline
^.^
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
alonealways's Avatar
 
Name: Jessica
Gender: Female
Location: Texas

Posts: 230
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: August 19th 2009

Re: </3 :'( - January 21st 2010, 04:19 AM

I just can't hate him for what he did and I can't even be mad at him but I want to just run and cry and die and ugh.

Even when I got my mind off of him today I was like, "When I go home.. I'm going to be alone.. just like I've always been.. alone forever.." And now the one hope I had of that seems to have vanished. I think he knows it affected me though because afterwards I was like "This is the worst day ever.." and he's just like "I'm sorry". I hate him for being so insensitive but I like him so much.

Worst feeling ever. I just want to die. If I kill myself he has less problems to deal with. And so do I.



   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Crimsonkin Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Crimsonkin's Avatar
 
Name: Adam
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Location: Boring town, Ohio

Posts: 278
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 17th 2009

Re: </3 :'( - January 21st 2010, 06:10 AM

I know where your coming from here. The first girl i ever had feelings for did something similar to me. Except it went on for years. Years of hoping that we could be together. So she asked me out and about a week later she dumped me for her ex. So yeah i know where your comming from.
I know how much it hurts. When someone that you trust. Someone that you would never think would hurt you does. I too felt like you do now that night. But somehow i pushed though it.
Now i have found an amazing girl that loves me years later. So hang in there you will find love you will find that specail someone that will make you glad you did hang on. When you do find him then you can look back at this and laugh and relize that you deserved so much better!

Best of luck to you and stay strong! Feel free to PM me anytime.
  Send a message via AIM to Crimsonkin Send a message via MSN to Crimsonkin  
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Crescendo Offline
Walking The Line
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Crescendo's Avatar
 
Name: ...
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: ...

Posts: 337
Blog Entries: 82
Join Date: December 17th 2009

Re: </3 :'( - January 21st 2010, 03:17 PM

Hey

just wanted to encourage you again to reach out for help to people in your life because it sounds like you may have a mental illness such as Depression. Many Mental illnesses like depression are treatable with medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes such as eating balanced meals and getting enough sleep. It is however very very hard to go it alone. Your life is valuable, and with treatment things CAN get better.

I'm sorry he accepted her invitation, but if he doesn't see how amazing you are, it's truly his loss. i know it hurts like hell, but it wont always hurt. he only thing you can count on is change, so why don't you stick around? This too shall pass. Things get better, things get worse, but it won't be this way for ever. Don't be afraid to ask for help. your life is valuable.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tj0PtMZaWss

"you're NOT alone.
There is more to this I know.
you can make it out.
you will live to tell."
-You're not alone by Saosin


feel free to vm or pm me anytime.

Megan



When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
-grey's.anatomy-
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
alonealways Offline
^.^
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
alonealways's Avatar
 
Name: Jessica
Gender: Female
Location: Texas

Posts: 230
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: August 19th 2009

Re: </3 :'( - January 25th 2010, 01:31 PM

Even if it's "his loss" (which it's totally not).. it doesn't stop it from hurting anymore. I just want to hurt him back and die. I remember all the times I was in the med lodge and I was in so much pain and he was so scared for me and felt so bad for me. The one time I was in the med lodge and he didn't come visit, when I came back to the cabins he made me talk to him after because he wanted to make sure I was okay.

And now it feels like it wouldn't have mattered if I was okay or not.



   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
alonealways Offline
^.^
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
alonealways's Avatar
 
Name: Jessica
Gender: Female
Location: Texas

Posts: 230
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: August 19th 2009

Re: </3 :'( - January 27th 2010, 03:39 AM

And now I find myself not even going for the help I need from friends.. please what do I do??



   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
< or 3

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.