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Dedalus Offline
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She's Dead.... - January 23rd 2010, 09:54 PM

I basically had a one night stand 15 months ago with a girl I met in a nightclub. We just clicked straight away. In fact we clicked so well that neither of us even asked, we knew we were going home with each other. It was my first and last one night stand. She was a virgin until then and so was I. Over the following months efforts were made immediately by me and then much later by her to get into a relationship. But the getting together never materialised.
She was mad about me though. Even almost a year after that one night, she was still texting me. And I never really wanted to go straight into a relationship.


We were going to meet up at a concert, but I got bored of looking for her and ended up scoring another girl. I feel so terrible about that now.


I know it was just a one night stand and I didn't really know her, but I feel incredibly upset. I feel guilty too b/c I never cried when two of my friends died, but over this girl I have.


Its just that losing your virginity is an important part of your life, and now its like....she's gone. She has no memories of me now. They don't matter. And I'm the only one left with them.


I had planned to get into a relationship with her at a later stage, when I would make the effort.


I did lover her that night. I remember holding her and her sigh of enjoyment afterwards when I cuddled up beside her and put my arms around her.


I don't want a quick fix to feeling better, but come Monday I'm still going to be feeling pretty similar and then I'll have to see my friends, go to university and talk to people. I don't want to explain. And I don't know if I should be feeling this way.


I really don't know if I should be feeling this way over someone I didnt really know has died.
   
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Re: She's Dead.... - January 23rd 2010, 10:35 PM

Hey,
I think this is normal to feel like this because you didn't get a chance to really get to know her.
I can understand you not wanting to speak about it, maybe you could try and confide in one friend.
I know it's not easy but it could help lighten things for you a little and then you would have someone to speak to when you feel ready to do so.
Sorry I can't offer anything more constructive than this.
But I'm sorry to hear this happened.
Paige xox
   
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Re: She's Dead.... - January 24th 2010, 08:47 AM

This girl must have been really special to you, but the only thing left to do is move forward. You don't have to forget about her, but at least make sure she's not occupying all of your thoughts and her death isn't bringing you down. Yes, it's easier said than done.

I don't think you should feel the need to explain if you don't want to, but like Paige said, you should at least talk to one person to lighten the weight that's on your shoulders. I promise you, you're not the only person who has felt this way. I understand what you're saying when you explain the connection you had right away, and I've felt that before, so don't think you're foolish for feeling the way you do. Just work on moving past everything. Good luck.


Waitin' for my ruca.
   
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