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Stained Dreamer Offline
I will not be treated that way
Average Joe
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Name: Nicole
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: i don't have a location- i wander

Posts: 172
Join Date: August 5th 2009

Keeps coming back? - January 25th 2010, 01:04 PM

I thought I was over being depressed. I thought it was part of my past and I could finally move on and live my life.

Hahahaha That's funny that I actually thought that.

When something happens (like talking about my dad and how much he yelled at us as kids and how he'll still yell at us, or talking about what I hate most in the world and all of the flaws in the world) I just go right back to being depressed. I stay in my room and don't talk to anyone. I bury myself in my music. I call it "contemplative depression" because it's really a philosophical depression- I'm thinking about the condition of the world and the issues therein.

It bothers my boyfriend when I get like this, and I don't want to hurt him anymore.

Can I do something to finally make it go away, or does depression stay forever?

I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Want to hold on, and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me, but I'm still here
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Pandamonium Offline
I've been here a while
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Name: Steph
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Location: US

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Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Keeps coming back? - January 25th 2010, 01:23 PM

Whenever we're reminded of something that had a huge emotional impact in our lives, it's not uncommon that it affects us so much. Hearing about your Dad and it sending you into a depression or a funk will happen. The best thing you can do is see if you can find a way to isolate yourself less, to make the issue bother you less.

You can move on with your life, it's always an option. But don't expect miracle work overnight or even in a week. It'll time and effort and sometimes, you'll have bad days and it'll seem like all your progress is gone - but it won't be. Bad days will happen.

There will always be problems and flaws with the world and with people. It comes to a point where you see them but they don't have to depress you and make you unable to function. If you haven't, you may want to consider consulting your doctor. I know that seems like the "easy" way out, but you'd be surprised how much of a difference it can make.
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xxpaigiexx Offline
Up In The Clouds...
I can't get enough
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Name: Paige
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: London

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Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Keeps coming back? - January 25th 2010, 02:29 PM

Hey Nicole,

I think depression does improve with time and help and support. Everyone get's angry from time to time, maybe there are things you could do that would stop your dad yelling so that it would prevent you finding yourself in these moods. Maybe you could speak to your siblings and see if they could help with whatever it needs done, if your dad finds things the way he wants them then he should have less to moan about.
I can understand you wanting to shut yourself away when you are in these moods, it's only natural to want to escape a problem and shut it out. I can understand why your boyfriend is becoming concerned. I'm sure all he is worrying about is your well being and he just wants you to be as happy as possible.
Maybe next time you find yourself in one of these moods you could try to get out of the house and do something different. Maybe you could go for a walk with some music, or you could call your boyfriend for a chat and see if he can shed any light on your situation. You just have to find alternatives and healthy ways of expressing how you're feeling. Hopefully this will get you back to feeling happier.
Have you ever considered going to your GP about the way you're feeling? I'm sure your doctor could help you out and maybe refer you to specialists that work with depression. Usually meds are the last thing your GP will want to prescribe you with, usually they will suggest counselling, therapy and group therapy. There are lots of alternatives out there to be explored and considering these can only help you more in the long run. So please take what I have said into consideration and I really do hope things do get better for you.
Paige xox
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