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Name: Jessica
Gender: Female

Posts: 37
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&& then I look and the mirror and see a stranger... - January 25th 2010, 10:52 PM

I, at the moment, feel like a joke. A toy. something to poke fun of. I don't feel like a human being. I recently got cheated on by this really amazing guy who I thought would be different....I guess I was just another joke for him. another girl to say he's dated. I guess I just feel really worthless right now because of that and I'm under a lot of stress. Both of my friends might be pregnat and they're only 13...My mom's anorexic and my big brother's leaving soon. I feel so alone like a lot of teenagers do. I feel like i have to help everyone but I never try to fix my own problems. I have anxiety and depression problems....I've stopped cutting though. No, I will not take pills because I don't like swallowing them. I don't want to talk to a guidance counsler because I can't trust the one at school...I'm just kind of a mess right now. I want to write but I'm afraid of what I'll create... && I feel bad because I like another guy already and my ex and I broke up not that long ago... I don't know what to think right now...I just want everything to vanish....


There is always hope...<3
   
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Life17 Offline
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Re: && then I look and the mirror and see a stranger... - January 26th 2010, 01:46 AM

I think that maybe you need to spend sometime by yourself and listen to music. I also think that you need to find someone that you trust and talk.
   
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xxxAJxxx Offline
TEIAM - problem solved.
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Re: && then I look and the mirror and see a stranger... - January 26th 2010, 04:20 PM

if you need someone to talk to, pm me. im good at helping with these sort of things. im going thru depression myself too.


"Now at the end of everyday I lie awake at night and wait
To feel the wires of my brain get cut and quietly rearranged, and
Hear my beaten heart exclaim, 'Still, I refuse to let her go.'"

So we escape to our mistakes for they wait patiently for us.
Oh, how they always wait for me.

If my fear has kept me here only my fear can set me free."
   
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Re: && then I look and the mirror and see a stranger... - January 26th 2010, 04:43 PM

Hey Jessica,

Sounds like you are going through a lot right now. Try to remember, this is just a time in your life things may seem terrible but you will get through it. It may be hard to fight against, but you are stronger. You are never alone, we are here with you, helping you through it. You should feel very proud of yourself since you stopped cutting. That's a HUGE accomplishment! Although you may feel compelled to try and help everyone in your life, you don't need to. Try not to stress out over worrying about other people. I know it may sound kind of selfish, but try to just think about yourself for a little while.

I know you said you don't want to talk to a guidance counselor because you can't trust any one at school, but what about a therapist? You can always talk to your mom and ask her if you can find someone you feel comfortable talking to outside of school. At first you may feel as if its a huge mountain mountain to climb when it'd just be so much easier to go around. But, reaching out is the first step to feeling better. I think you should still try to write and just throw it out after. You don't have to read it over, writing can just be something to express yourself with. Blogging works better for me though. Because then I don't have to tire my hand venting about everything so maybe you can try that. Here is a link to the blogs. Stay strong Jessica, things will get better.

PM me if you need anything or just want to chat.
Take care,
Alessa


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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