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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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can't get it out of my head! - January 27th 2010, 02:46 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I get so obsessed with suicidal thoughts. I have spent days searching for the method from the internet and I have found one which will make my last breath painless. I have decided on what I will do and now I keep thinking about it all the time.
I keep arguing with myself in my head that I cannot do it, but I want to end everything so bad, especially when it won't be hurt.

I am scared of myself, I am going back to study abroad in two days and that means I'll have to be alone. I cannot concentrate on my studies, this thought keeps coming up in my head all the time that I just wanna put a bullet in it.

what do I do? please help me, I wanna stop thinking about it. Anyone has anything to distract myself from the thought? i have tried writing, and SH cannot calm me down this time. I can sleep all day but that's not possible when I have to study. I'm so messed up. I just want everyone to forget about me, like I never exist so I can leave this world peacefully.

Or I should be selfish for once end it all, after I die I won't feel a thing anyway.


These walls that I can't break down...
   
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Re: can't get it out of my head! - January 27th 2010, 04:29 PM

Hiya

Im sorry you feel this way and in the situation you are in.



I understand you are getting obsessed with suicidal thoughts, once you start thiniking about suicide its kind of hard to stop.


You shouldnt be looking at methods of suicide, whatever one you choose, although might make your last breath painless, think of the pain that will follow through, you family, your friends...how would they feel. I know suicide is very tempting and very hard to not think of it, but trust me, its nomt the time to go.


Keep arguing, the more you argue the less you can hurt yourself. Keep telling yourself you dont want to do it.



If you are scared of yourself, then when you go back to study, try and get some help, maybe talk to a school counsellor or trusted teacher. Dont worry about studies for the time being, that will stress you more, concentrate on helping yourself.



When you feel suicidal, its hard to stop thinking it, Im glad SH cant calm you down, I would advise not starting again, it will lead you into more complications. Unfortunatly people wont forget about you, and if you did commit suicide, then you wont be leaving peacefully. You will go through all the trauma of leaving those loved ones alone.

You are not being selfish for wanting to end up......but it would be better if you didnt, if you cant get any worse....then its bound to get better...please try talk to someone when you go back for studies....maybe get an anti depressant to help you.

I really wish you dont hurt yourself, but if you do feel suicidal, then just go to a hospital, maybe they will have you overnight to calm down.

I hope you are ok.

Jaymi
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Re: can't get it out of my head! - January 28th 2010, 03:14 AM

Darling, suicide is so final.
the problems will resolve if you give them a chance, but suicide
it's just over. And while it is painless, you'll never get the chance to be happy again. If you can stick it out you can find that happiness. Without pain, we wouldn't have any idea what it felt like. It will be such a relief and if you choose to give that up, it will be such a shame.
It's your desision.

But consider it.


And no matter what my heart [</3] says
I have to let you walk away
maybe someday

I can't fight for you anymore
But it's too hard to watch you fall.
I can't fight for you anymore
But watching you go breaks my heart
I can't fight for you anymore
But I want to.
   
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Re: can't get it out of my head! - February 1st 2010, 09:43 AM

Suicide, is never the answer. You think that it will end the pain, but really for those around you, it only begins more pain, and will effect those you never thought it could. A lot of us are fighting this temptation, and we need to stand strong, together. There are those who love you, and need you. We need to remain firm and strong.

Is there anyone you care about in your life? If so, that's a reason to live, more so if they love and care about you a lot. If you are not sharing your issues with others, or someone, then that's a start, holding in pain and feelings, only make things worse, and can be the cause to this. If you need to talk to someone, I'm truly here for you =) Take me up on that offer.

Recalling what you do have in your life helps, recalling the good. Looking at your situation and trying to make sense of it could help. Understanding the role that your death would play in others life as well helps. Do you really want others that you care about to feel how you do right now?

I Bet you are lovely person, someone that surely is loved, and if you don't think so, then there is someone out there who will love you. Wait for them, don't let them lose you, before they even had the chance to meet you. I want you to see the wonders of life, try to find them yourself, or allow someone into your mind, allow someone to help you see them.
Do not look into methods to kill yourself, that is unneeded stress. Try to find something you enjoy, try to find self happiness. Try to treat yourself to good things, watch a funny movie, write some poems, talk to someone.

Don't give up, we stand firm, and for sure, you have me on your side now =)
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