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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
you&me Offline
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Name: Jessica
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nothing helps - January 29th 2010, 05:33 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of substance use, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

so, i guessss i've given up and i'm just going to write it all down see if it helps, and hope things get better?

sorry if its a bit long..

so, first of all.... i went out with what someone who never knew him would call a guy but ill say boy for the fact he acted like one. I was with him for a year and a half, on and offff really. He cheated, does drugs rather heavily, would go days without contact, we used to have a lot of arguments, well daily arguments.... would always end up being my fault if hed gone out and forgotten about plans with me.. basically he was your typical bad boy and i was in love with him. we split up a lot throughout the year and a half we were together, for three weeks/a month max and then we'd always passionately end up getting back together, so i thought this would be the same..
everyone told me to stay away but you don't, because you love them and it's like an addiction.. so here i am, we split up about two months ago? it's definately over .. and it was always going to happen and i know to many of you it may seem trivial, its a typical teenage thing... well its not getting better
he was like my best friend, and with everythign else thats going on(explained later down the page) i kinda depend on him. So the other day, i saw him and turned to alcohol like i normally do when is ee him or whatever ended up seeing him when i was in a state and its just the day after i sorta realised i need to stop..
how do i stop feeling like this? its like painful .. and ive tried EVERYTHING for it to go away but it won't.
i don't want to wake up anymore, i feel so low all the time... and its been like this for last two months ... i feel desperate, and i feel hard towards other people who try and open up to me and help me let them in...
the only person i feel weak for is him, he was my first everything and thats probably the answer but im just worried its gonna get out of hand.. im out of control.

secondly, relationships with friends...
ive just started a new school, and for the past five years ive been best friends with the same girls until i moved to sixth form and they all went to college.... its been hard keeping in contact and as time went on it just deteriorated and in a way i wanted to get away from a couple of them anyways.... although i was finding it really hard to settle in at school i didn't depend on them and became more independant..
so, it was a mutual thing but seems to have alllll turned round onto me and they've made up this rumour about me thats ruining me... its a horrible rumour and they're making sure everyone knows about me and i dont understand why they're doing it because its a load offfff rubbish and they know it!
they're rather intimidating, and i know see from the other side how they make people feel, they just won't stop.

thirdly, school ... ive met some great friends there too, but it seems everyone is in a bubble, its a posh schoool and i came from a village community schoool there you were part of somewhere and u looked out for eachother. This place is huge, and no matter wht i say or do certain people are out to screw me over.. i had a best frined there, they turned everyone against me because they decided they wanted some attention and to stirr up drama... so, fair enough i have made some friends... but im anxious all the time for the past month there is ALWAYS something going on
and the other month it was nto wanting to go to school anymore.. and the doctor diagnosed me with depression/anxiety?
i never went back, and my mum flipped out on me ... almost as if it wa sdmy fault that theyd told me this.
it all may seem trivial, but i appreciate your comments i don't know what else to do.. life is hell and ive always had it quite easy :|

ive never done drugs, or been a heavy drinker, but just recently the alcohol seems more appealing and so does the drugs!

Last edited by .:Bibliophile:.; February 6th 2010 at 11:06 PM. Reason: Added a triggering prefix
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: nothing helps - January 30th 2010, 05:09 PM

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me. I can help

-AJ


"Now at the end of everyday I lie awake at night and wait
To feel the wires of my brain get cut and quietly rearranged, and
Hear my beaten heart exclaim, 'Still, I refuse to let her go.'"

So we escape to our mistakes for they wait patiently for us.
Oh, how they always wait for me.

If my fear has kept me here only my fear can set me free."
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: nothing helps - February 1st 2010, 09:07 AM

First one, well, this guy is putting you through alot. But, you have to define your definition of what "Love" is. For what it appears, this was not love. Remember him though for the good things he added to. Convince yourself to move forward on this, away from him, but recall the things you have learned from your dealings with him. In time you will find someone worthy of you, and someone who will treat you right, the way you deserve to be treated.

These "Friends" of your's, appear not to be good friends, and you need to move away from them too. I can see how things are feeling for you, and have been in a situation like this before. As "Cliche" as it is, these things are not "Teenage Phases" or small minor things to be overlooked. We have feelings. But you need to not drink, and you need to stay away from drugs. Those are things for those who give in, its as bad as cutting yourself, its a message that you can't handle things. You can. You have me, and you have Flyawayninjacow, and others around you in your school or neighborhood soon to come.

But hang in there, I know for certain, drugs, and drinking, will lead you to new issues you couldn't even imagine. Defeat that temptation as it is %110 counter productive.

Let's stick through this one together k? =)
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: nothing helps - February 6th 2010, 11:10 AM

thank you ... i really do appreciate it!
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: nothing helps - February 6th 2010, 04:43 PM

Jessica,

Things seem really tough right now but the thing to remember is that with time things will get better. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we can start climbing back up to the top.

Relationships can be a tricky thing and they can lead to a lot of hurt but the thing to remember is that this boy will not be the last person you fall in love with. He is not the only boy out there for you. I know that right now it might seem as though he is the one for you but with time your heart will start to accept that this is not true and it will slowly allow you to move on.

In the meantime I think you should try to get involved in more activities. I think that right now having too much free time probably is not a good thing. And, the more activities you can get into your schedule (as long as it is reasonable and not overwhelming) could be really helpful.

Start letting yourself enjoy life again. You may not feel like doing that but that is one way to beat heart ache and to beat depression.

As for your friends, I think that you should email them and explain how their actions are making you feel and ask them why. This letter might not result in any type of resolution but I think it might help you to feel better if you get all the anger, frustration and confusion off your chest.

The thing to remember is that sometimes friendships do pull apart but that does not always have to be a bad thing. The thing is is that any friendship you have in life teaches you a little something and all that you learned from old friendships can be applied to new ones.

As for your school; I know that going to a new school can be intimidating but it is still possible for you to make friends. Are there any people at the school that you like and would like to hang out with? If so you should ask them to come to a study group, ask them if they want to go to a movie or something else. Sometimes when we want friends we need to take a little initiative. I know that can be hard but it can really bring you some results.

Yes, there are going to be people that will not like you but you need to take some risks and let people in.

As for your issues with drugs and alcohol; those things will not solve your problems and in the end they will only make things worse. The best advice I can give you is to look at the Alternatives to Self Harm
I know that these are alternatives to self harm but in my opinion they can be alternatives to almost any addiction you are struggling with.

Lastly, I think that you should consider talking to someone about all of this. A therapist would be great or a trusted adult. Talking can be hard but it is also extremely beneficial.


Please hang in there and if you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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