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WhatsTheSecret Offline
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Pain Piercing through my Chest - January 30th 2010, 12:46 AM

I have done so much. I have tried so hard to make this go away. It always come back. It always, always comes back. I changed schools, I've been trying trying to change my whole attitude and outlook on life. Each day I meet new people, and then they go on their way. And at the end of the day, I am still alone. Sitting on my bed, hurting more than anyone ever knew possible. Hurting so bad i want to rip my chest apart and tear out whatever is causing me this pain. But it's there and it's there and it's still going to be there forever. It's never going to go away, not for long anyway. It always comes back.

I just can't do this. I don't want to burden anyone anymore. I am just such a burden to my boyfriend and to everyone who has to listen to me complain. I hurt, and I just want it to stop. I hate myself, I don't want to be me anymore. I want to go anywhere but here, be anyone but me. But it follows me wherever I go. It took so much courage to transfer midyear. I don't know a fucking person year, I don't know anyone and I'm trying so ahrd to be who I used to be, to be the girl everyone loved.

But what do I do if that girl is dead? Dead and gone.
   
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xxxAJxxx Offline
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Re: Pain Piercing through my Chest - January 30th 2010, 10:55 PM

pm me. as soon as you see this. i feel so bad no one replied to this post yet

im here to help.

-AJ


"Now at the end of everyday I lie awake at night and wait
To feel the wires of my brain get cut and quietly rearranged, and
Hear my beaten heart exclaim, 'Still, I refuse to let her go.'"

So we escape to our mistakes for they wait patiently for us.
Oh, how they always wait for me.

If my fear has kept me here only my fear can set me free."
   
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Re: Pain Piercing through my Chest - February 1st 2010, 08:56 AM

What you are now, is not you, but the effect of some bad situations and pain. You are human, and you need to be loved my friend. It's what we humans need. You have every right to complain, have your voice heard, and i want it to be heard, so does Flyawayninja.

I've had these chest pains before, a lot before, and can understand their pain, and the detachment you feel. You gotta hold out, keep putting yourself out there. You will come across people, who you will become close friends with.
But do not forget to make sure and do a rain check, on the people you have with you now.

Talk to us, we are here for you =)
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Re: Pain Piercing through my Chest - February 4th 2010, 05:58 AM

i agree you are such a great person and things will look up sometimes it just takes some time but things will look up if you let them take their course if you need to talk to anybody you can eather pm or vm me i am on every night pretty much. Keep you chin up Chandler
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