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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
i_am_me_again Offline
I'm A Pyschotic Neurotic.
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Name: Jaymi
Age: 33
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Location: England

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Feeling completely useless and suicidal - January 31st 2010, 02:01 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I am having a complete breakdown. I cant take much more. Im getting worse each day.

I am skipping meds, and storing others to take an overdose.

I dont even know why I feel the way I do.....I have just had it.

I am fucking useless and pathetic, I hate myself. I hate what I do, and I get hated for it.

I havnt got a life, Im jealous of my brother and cousins.

I am a piece of shit like you tread on in the park.

I am planning to end it very shortly.

Im so sorry.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
AlkalineTears Offline
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Name: Nameless
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Hell

Posts: 67
Join Date: January 15th 2010

Re: Feeling completely useless and suicidal - January 31st 2010, 04:15 PM

You have to sit down in a room, with the lights off and curtains closed to actually find out what your life is about.

Sometimes peoples lives really are not worth living, and I am not going to butter anyone up about the hard truth. People die everyday because of suicide, its your life with your choice to do as you want with it.

Most suicides though, died because of something small and insignificant. If you feel like your in the gutter, you have to ask yourself in the dark room why. People put up with crap everyday, and people get away with murder - its part of living.
Does your life become affected by things you can avoid or change?

The key is to give it a second thought with no distractions, map out your life and maybe youll find something that you feel is worth living for.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Feeling completely useless and suicidal - January 31st 2010, 08:05 PM

Jaymi,
Skipping meds is just going to make you feel worse. You need to try and keep taking your medicine so you can feel a little bit better. That little bit might make the difference of your life. You are not useless or pathetic at all. You are amazing and help so many people here. I love you Jaymi! <3 You are not a piece of shit. You are a loving caring, living, amazing person. You do have a life! I would never be able to take a plan to another country. Live because you can. Live to go on the trip to America you are excited about. Hang in there Jaymi! I would be heartbroken if you killed yourself.
PM me anytime.
Take care,
Alessa


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Don'tLet'sStart Offline
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Re: Feeling completely useless and suicidal - February 1st 2010, 06:22 AM

As Alessa said, you need to get back on your meds. You know as well as we do, that they are what help you, and as Alessa said you need to try to help yourself as much as you can.

Now, I've at a point in time, felt the way you have, more than once. But, you have to understand something, that you are, what you will make yourself, something that Akaline Tears brought out. I do not know you, but know that you are not a piece of shit in the park, or useless. You are just hurt, and you appear to have been hurting. It is so much that a person can take.

However, we need to hang on. During times like these, it's where you need to extend out for help, and extend out to try to make it through. Truly, in times like these, we have to stick together.

Start first, by getting back on those meds, they will help you. Then, tell someone, tell them about your feelings, whether you understand them or not.

Jealousy, looking at what your cousin and brother have, will not make you feel better. Really, even having what they have will not make you feel better.
Start by not looking at what you do not have, but at what you DO have. Understand the true scenario of your situation, understand who really is there, what you truly do actually have. I for one, am someone you have now. And will be here for a long time. If you want, tell me your thoughts, tell me how you feel, or anyone on this site willing to listen.

You are not alone, and we can not give up. When life pushes, we push back, and we bear through, to reach those times of serene we desire. At times it will seem like this state of serene simply does not exist. Being in your place and seeing things I have. I can say, that place, and hope does exist. Do not give up my friend, together we all will get through this.
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