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live.love.laugh Offline
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will i make it worse for him? - February 3rd 2010, 12:58 PM

Ok i have no idea if this is the write place to post this as it covers so many subjects. but i am so confused and im scared for this boy. Im going to call him "x" so not to confuse things.

Halfway through this acedimic year like 3 weeks be4 xmas X came back to our school. He moved halfway through our first year to Austria, but no one really knew y he was coming back. But when arrived a couple of weeks after he told people he was coming there was an instant connection between us. i cant explain it, but my best friends could see tht we were like "ment" for each other. I dont mean that in a sopy way because hald the time i am so pissed off at X for something its unreal! But anyway, we became close but at the same time one of my friedns (not a best friend) said she liked him. Everyone could tell i did and this girl is a complete player and goes for any new piece of meat. So i did my best to keep her away form him. But then he opened up to me. He told me that he moved back to England because his parents had broken up and now he will never see his dad because he cant afford to fly bck to Aussie for 4 years. I though that was it and i felt so sorry for him.

But then he went out with my friend so i told myself he wasn't worth the time and energy. But then they broke up and after a time we became close again. I went round his house the other day and we got pretty, how shall we say, intense. But i draw a line when it got to 4th base. I thought because of the physical and emotional connection we would become an "item" but the next day when everyone was gossiping about me going round his he completely ignored me. Even when i walked up to him he just turned away. it was so humiliating everyone new something had happened but i wouldn't say and nor would he. I was so hurt and upset i told one of my best friends who i knew had done what i did with her boyfriend. I cried and cried and couldn't understand y. So now her and her boyfriend hate him so much because he hurt me. All of my other best friends do.

I sorted it out with him now and its ok. Even though im still incredibly hurt and he knows that. But then he dropped massive bomb sell. Hes severely depressed and suicidal. My friend have got this hit on him now and ive tried to tell them to stop but i cant tell them why because its such a personal thing to him. and the thing is at (i dont want to sound big headed but this is important) my school the girls are the ones in charge and my social group are at the top of the pile, i guess you could say the "it" crowd. so if they all hate him our year will follow suit my bests bf is going to "rough him up" and i need to stop him.

But in the mean time i need to get X to trust me so i can help him but is that the best thing to do. He means alot to me even if is just friendship he needs. I want to help him. but should i just walk away? help me please. xxx
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Re: will i make it worse for him? - February 3rd 2010, 04:13 PM

The best thing you can do for him is talk to him and try to get him/convince him to get help with this. If the two of you have resolved what happened and you're afraid others will treat him poorly because they don't know the whole story then you should tell them that you're ok about him now and that they don't need to get involved. While it's ok to dislike someone, I don't think it's right to hate them, especially if you're in a postion where others will follow you since there is evidence that things like that can lead to suicide. (I'm not trying to guilt trip you about that, it might not lead him to do anything, but it certainly won't help; especially if he trusts you enough to share this) Since you seem to have the social infulence to stop the gossip surounding this and this person I think you should use the status to help him by doing your best to stop the gossip.

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Re: will i make it worse for him? - February 4th 2010, 10:27 AM

Don't give up on him if he means a lot to you. Besides, he probably needs someone right now. I think it would be good to remind him that you'll always be there for him and he can talk to you whenever.

Just tell your friends that this kid doesn't deserve it. You won't have to mention his depression if you simply say, "We cleared everything up and found out it was all a misunderstanding. He's a really good guy, so just give him a break." Make it clear that you would be hurt if they hurt him.

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Re: will i make it worse for him? - February 4th 2010, 07:24 PM

At this point, you just need to let him know you are there for him. Tell him he can always talk to you and you will do the best you can to help him. Be his friend and try to convince him to tell his family if they don't already know so he can start to feel better. You need to be a good friend to him but remember, this is not your job to make him feel better. Help him to realize in order to feel better, he needs to find help, get on meds, or talk to a professional.

It sounds like you want to protect him at school. Remember although you may wish you can, you can't protect him from everything. Like Courtney said, let your friends know he's not worth it and to just leave him alone. Don't let your popularity come first, put your friend first. If he means that much to you, it shouldn't be that hard to stay by his side. Good luck!

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