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Name: Elliotte
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Someone - Anyone - Help... - February 6th 2010, 08:52 PM

I've messed up everything with him. It's all my fault, and I can't believe I was so stupid. I don't want to get into everything that happened - it's complicated, and I can't afford anymore tears. All I know is that he's gone - he's gone for good - he has to be. He's never blocked me before, not through all the years I've known him. He promised, he bloody promised he'd always be there for me, even if I needed a break, so I decide to take a break after he aggressively lays in to me, and he blocks me?! This isn't fair. I can't do this. He saved my life. He's my bloody lifeline. It's stupid, because he's an online friend, but I depend on him so much, it's not even funny, and I have no clue what to do.... I feel like I'm going to end it.
   
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Re: Someone - Anyone - Help... - February 6th 2010, 09:20 PM

Hey Elliotte,
I know it can extremely hard when someone who has helped you through everything seems to suddenly vanish. You are not alone though. I am always here for you and you can always PM me. I promise, I will respond. Try to just take a deep breath. I know it's hard to let things out, but telling someone the way you feel can make you feel better. It's beter than keeping it all bottled up inside until it eats away at you. I'm sorry I can't help much but if you feel like you can say a little bit more about what's going on, I might be able to help you more. Hang in there and stay strong. I'm always here for you.
Take care,
Alessa


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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Re: Someone - Anyone - Help... - February 7th 2010, 12:05 AM

I'm sure "I'm sorry" is the last thing you want to hear. And I'm sure it sounds pretty empty and too much of an automatic response coming from some stranger, but I really am sorry. I know how painful it is when someone you trusted, someone who was always there for you, isn't there for you anymore. It recently happened to me, but I'm pushing through the pain. There's nothing else either of us really can do but to push through the pain. And I believe that you can do it.

If you ever need anyone to talk to, you can send me a message any time.


-B
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R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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Re: Someone - Anyone - Help... - February 7th 2010, 01:16 PM

Well I'm not blocked, but we're still not talking. It's my fault, because I can't talk to him right now. There's so much hostility between us, it's unreal. And the closer it gets to my fancier's (who lives in England) visit, the worse he gets. He said yesterday he didn't want to hear about anymore after, in the beginning, saying he wanted to be kept in the loop. I don't understand, and I wish he'd stop getting so angry at me. Everyone says that it's time to let go, that I should be fed up with his abuse, etc. but he's my best friend. We have so much history, I feel so close to him... How can I just leave that behind?
   
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Re: Someone - Anyone - Help... - February 7th 2010, 03:45 PM

It sounds like maybe taking a break would be for the better between both of you. Give you some time to breath and think about your relationship with him. But, if he's abusing you, it's not worth it at all. You deserve better than that and staying with him may just make everything worse. I know it's hard to leave history behind but you don't just have to stop talking to him forever. Take a break for a little while and then after both of you have had some time alone, talk about it. Let him know how you feel and ask him how he feels about this. Work together to come up with something that's right for both of you. And if that is leaving him behind, that's okay. There will be lots of other people to be with. I know it's hard to find a new best friend but you will find one. Don't stay with him through abuse just because of history. A new guy will come along and you'll make more history with him. Hang in there, it's going to be okay.
I'm always here if you need anything, don't hesitate to PM me.

Alessa


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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