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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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we dont die of a broken heart...we only wish we did... - February 6th 2010, 10:42 PM

i don't know what to do now...

I had a boyfriend... a one year and a half (by february 15... yeah valentine's...) relationship...

and i've lost him...
why?
because since i had to cope with a lot of problems i only thought about me and i couldn't help him when he needed me...

because I wasn't good to him... but he was good to me...
he was such a heart of gold...


and I didn't trust him when he said that I was everything to him because I hated myself... i didn't feel like I deserved him... and this made him go away...


two days ago he started to date another girl... and she seems to be real nice... she actually helps him when he needs it....

and now he is in a relationship with her... and it's killing me... i have been replaced and this is really killing me...

i can't sleep anymore..

i can't eat anymore...

i wrote him emails... begging...crying... telling him how miserable i was... and the only thing i've got was: I will think about it...

but I already know that there isnt any hope anymore... and after all i can't look at him with the thought that he has fallen in love with someone else because i am extremely jealous...

he was my first love...

please help me to get over this i have spent my time vomitting it really hurts it's painful...
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: we dont die of a broken heart...we only wish we did... - February 6th 2010, 11:44 PM

I'm really sorry that you're going through this. And don't blame yourself or hate yourself for this. You're only 16. If this relationship wasn't meant to last then there's not much you can do about it. You may not want to hear it, but maybe you weren't quite at a place in your life where you were ready for a romantic relationship. I can see that you love him. I can see that you're in a lot of pain over this. But in time it'll go away. There may be scars, but you'll still heal. It doesn't sound like it was a messy break up, so that makes the healing process go quicker.

I've not yet been lucky enough to date, but I have had my heart completely broken. I was 14 and he was my first love. The day before Christmas break, his friends told me that he liked me back. After liking this guy for four years, this was the best news I'd ever heard. And after a terrible break during which my cat (who was my best friend growing up) died (she was hit by a car...a black cat in the middle of a white street 2 days after Christmas). Knowing that my crush liked me back was the one thing keeping me together. I went back to school, and at lunch that very day his friends came back. They sat next to me at my table of friends and put their arms around me. They looked me in the eyes with a small smirk as they said they lied. My crush didn't like me. He never had and never would. It felt like they killed me. I wanted so much to just die. I was so depressed that I can't remember anything after that day for an entire semester. But it's been about five years since then. The scar from that pain's still there, but I'm better. I've healed. And I've risen above what those boys will ever be.

My situation may not be the same, but I know the pain of heartache well. There will be other boys. There will be even greater loves. The pain will go away and you will feel happiness once again. All you've got to do is hang in there for a while longer. Give it some time.

And if you ever need anyone to talk to, you can send me a message at any time.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: we dont die of a broken heart...we only wish we did... - February 7th 2010, 12:14 AM

Hey there,
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with this. Keep your head up though. Like Brittany said, there will be other guys. Time will heal and you will start to feel better. Also, I think talking about what you have been through may help you feel better. Because if he's not going to stick around to help you through times when you need him, he's not worth it. The right guy will come along that will be there for you when you are going through a tough time and not just when he is.
PM me if you need anything.
Take care,
Alessa


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: we dont die of a broken heart...we only wish we did... - February 7th 2010, 12:38 AM

but i don't want to meet another one...

he was so good to me...

it's just ... hard to believe
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: we dont die of a broken heart...we only wish we did... - February 7th 2010, 12:50 AM

I know that you don't want anyone else. I completely understand what you're saying. And I know that you don't want to hear that there will be others or that you'll get over him in time. But it's the truth. And getting over him doesn't mean that what you feel for him isn't real...because it obviously is. Teens know what it is to love just as well, if not better, than some adults. But what we're saying is that people change. Our emotions change. We get over broken hearts and we find new and better loves. For me, at the moment, it's art and music. I've found that I don't need a guy to love, and I've healed from past wounds. In time you too will heal from this pain that you feel and find someone or something else to love even more. And if it's a guy you'll love more, I'm sure he'll always be there for you no matter what....even if you aren't in a place emotionally where you can be there for him as well. Because that's what true love is. Please allow this some time and you'll see what we mean.


-B
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R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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Re: we dont die of a broken heart...we only wish we did... - February 7th 2010, 12:52 AM

But it was what he did !!

He tried to get over me and he's found a new better love...
   
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Re: we dont die of a broken heart...we only wish we did... - February 7th 2010, 01:05 AM

You don't know for sure that he feels she's a new and better love. There are two sides to every story. Or maybe he loves her just as much as he loved you, but in a different way. Maybe you just weren't meant to be together. The fact that he let you go is an indicator of that. You seem like a very sweet girl. Any guy would be lucky to date you.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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Re: we dont die of a broken heart...we only wish we did... - February 7th 2010, 01:16 AM

I am not a sweet girl... i wasn't there for him... I couldn't help him... but she did...
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: we dont die of a broken heart...we only wish we did... - February 7th 2010, 01:35 AM

You really shouldn't be so hard on him. We all make mistakes. Sometimes we aren't there for someone we really care about. That doesn't make you a bad person. I don't feel my guy friend who just stopped talking to me is a bad person. I think he just needs to figure out his life a little better before he can be there for someone else again, the way he once was. Maybe you just need to work on yourself a little more before being able to be there for someone else too. It's really a common thing.


-B
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R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: we dont die of a broken heart...we only wish we did... - February 7th 2010, 01:37 AM

okay
woah those are sweet words

and if by any chance... he comes back... should I give in...
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: we dont die of a broken heart...we only wish we did... - February 7th 2010, 01:49 AM

Oops. When I said that you should be so hard on him, I meant you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. But I guess you shouldn't be so hard on him either. ;D

As for giving in if he comes back to you, only you can decide that. It all depends on how much he's hurt you, how much you still love him, and if you're both willing to be there for each other. If you both feel that you can easily commit to that, then I don't see why not. But like I said, that all really depends on you...and if he returns to you.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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Re: we dont die of a broken heart...we only wish we did... - February 7th 2010, 02:04 AM

yeah...

he said : I will think about it just give me some time to breathe in

so yeah now I am dealing with the heartbreak and the uncertainty... although I kinda already know what will be his response and that he is saying so only because he doesn't want to hurt me... urgh I hate this I am not going to sleep tonight... They are going out tonight... It's killing me I can't block these thoughts out of my head...

I am afraid.. so afraid
   
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Re: we dont die of a broken heart...we only wish we did... - February 7th 2010, 02:40 AM

Take some deep breaths. It's going to be okay. Try not to think of it as a permanent breakup. Instead just think of it as a break. You don't know he just instantly fell in love with this girl. I know he meant a lot to you and it's hard for him to just leave your life but you CAN get through this and you WILL get through this.

Have you reached out to anyone in your life about this? Talk to a friend or a family member about the way you are feeling? Sometimes just talking it out can help you feel better. That way everything isn't so bottled up inside and you have more than just yourself working to fight these feelings. Yes, it's hard to reach out to those in your life. But from there, everything just gets easier. You can do it. I believe in you.


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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Re: we dont die of a broken heart...we only wish we did... - February 7th 2010, 02:59 AM

Like what Alessa said, just breathe. Maybe you could find something to distract you. Watch a movie, listen to music, do art...anything you can think of that can be used as a distraction. It will be difficult. But don't you think you owe it to yourself to at least try?


-B
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R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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