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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
UltraViolet Offline
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Name: Lea
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i dont/want/need/cant - February 10th 2010, 06:27 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I dont want to do this anymore.
I want to write the finial note.
I want to swallow pills untill im full, untill im free.
I need to cut myself, i want to.
i need to bleed, to see it.
i dont feel alive, and right now i dont want to be.
i want to bash my stupid pathertic head against the wall.
i cant fight, and i keep repeating myself.
i need to just do it
end it end it end it end it endi tiend it end it
diedieidieidieidieidieidieidieidieidieidieiieieidi eideidieieie
i hate myself so much, in fcking despair.
turning hysterical with rage and this upset choaking feeling in my throat.


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...

Last edited by .:Bibliophile:.; February 10th 2010 at 06:46 PM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i dont/want/need/cant - February 10th 2010, 06:49 PM

Hey there Lea,

I am so sorry you are struggling but please keep on fighting. I know sometimes this fight does not seem worth it but believe me it is. Life has so much to offer each and everyone of us and I would hate to see you miss out on all the good things that will be coming your way.

Lea, I think you should really consider talking to someone. I know it is hard to do but it is worth it and it could help a lot. Talk to your parents, friends and maybe even a professional. Not only does it help to have people to talk to but it helps to have a good support network.

Please hang in there and if you ever want to chat feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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Re: i dont/want/need/cant - February 10th 2010, 07:24 PM

Lea,
You have come so far and you have your entire life ahead of you. Things will get better and you will accomplish so much more in your lifetime. You've come this far, don't give up now. I personally know how draining anxiety can be and how far it can bring you down but you CAN'T give up. You have to show the anxiety who is the boss and how strong you are. Every time you accomplish one thing despite your anxiety, you'll be able to do more and more and more. But, if you give up, axiety is going to take over and neither of us want that. Keep on fighting Lea. Talk to someone in your life about how you are feeling. Letting it out to someone can be a huge help and make you feel better overall. It's all going to be okay, just stay strong.

Hang in there okay?
PM me if you ever need to talk,
Alessa


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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Re: i dont/want/need/cant - February 10th 2010, 09:03 PM

Aww honey, nothing is so bad that you need to kill yourself. You just need to be strong and know that things will, and can, get better sooner than you think.
For example, my parents hate me, I still live with them unfortunantely, but I get away from them by going out with other family members who care, going out with friends, and I plan to get a job and save up and move out...you have the option of going out and saving money and moving out also if the family is the problem. If they can't see what a great person you are, they aren't worth your time, screw them. Don't let anyone make you feel inferior or worthless because you are not, you are a great person worthy of love and respect and you will get it somewhere out there. Don't end your life, you don't need to hurt yourself, because nothing is your fault. You will miss out on so much if you just give up.
Please just hang in there and know if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I know how it feels to want to die, to want to hurt yourself, to hate yourself, and if I can get past it I know you can do it too! *Hugs*
   
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Re: i dont/want/need/cant - February 11th 2010, 03:00 AM

Ive tried writing my last note once and when I wrote it I realized that I had somthing to live for maybe you should write your note and weigh your pros n cons
   
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