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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Guile Offline
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Depressed - February 16th 2010, 06:08 AM

I am pretty bummed out. Ever since I was little I knew my family was poor, I think I was about 6 or so when I figured out that we rarely had any money. My mother has a doctorate degree and my father has a bachelor's degree. A few years back they both lost their jobs within two weeks of each other, not to a fault of their own. We moved to a new city where my dad and mom found new work. We made a little bit more then before (not saying much really). It was finally looking up when my mother lost her job due to downsizing and my fathers office decided to lower everybody's pay a good deal. Our Church has given my family money for food , I can't bring myself to eat it, that makes me a parasite, which I refuse to be. I have a part-time job trying to save a little bit of money but it's not much. One day I want to get my law degree from Harvard but that costs half a million dollars, I will never have that, it's what I was born into. Money and power matter a lot to me, so why did I have to be born into this?! It's not my fault, I didn't get to pick this! It's not like I am being lazy either, working a job, good grades in school, but everyday I ask myself why I even bother getting out of bed. I am sick of all of this, everyday at school I have to see everyone else enjoy nice clothes, new shoes, an iPod, etc. Last Christmas I sacrificed my gift so that my little sister could get this Barbie set she asked for, she still believes in magic and hasn't figured out where we are in life. I have one nice suit jacket I got as a hand-me-down from my father which I wear as often as I can, I hate looking poor, it is emberassing to me. I hate having to go around like this, while other kids are getting cars for their birthday I got nothing, why me?


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BlueWolf Offline
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Re: Depressed - February 16th 2010, 04:57 PM

Having financial issues is very difficult. For me, I live with just my mom and I, both of us struggling to find jobs in this economy. With no income, money is very tight. I'm also starting college in the fall, yet I'm not worrying about it as much as I should. Sadly, sometimes we have to put things off. I know I might have to put college off to the side for awhile while I get a job.

There are a million things you can do in your situation. First of all, Harvard isn't everything. You don't have to go to that school, there are a million good schools out there. You can start at a cheaper school and apply for financial aid. You also say that you make good grades. If your grades are good enough for Harvard along with your test scores, you can get a scholarship. Actually with those types of grades and scores, you could get a ton of them. Look them up online, they are out there. You just have to apply. There are so many you can get with good grades or good SAT scores it's not even funny! You can even get scolarships for simple things such as writing essays. You can get a full ride scholarship to college for these things. Some pay pay you as little as $500 or as much as $100,000. On top of that, you can get a student loan which should be easy if you hav a job. If you get a college degree it shouldn't be too complicated to pay it off. Be careful what you get your major in. Jobs are hard to come by as I'm sure you've experienced. Many people out there know this as well. It's best to pick something you can actually get a job in. Do your research and know what your getting yourself into.

As for fighting financial problems in the moment, it's frustrating seeing everyone with all of their fancy stuff and knowing you just can't afford it. It's not anyone's fault why you ended up in that situation and it's just as painful for your parents as well. However, not having all this new technology or even some new clothes isn't the end of the world. It means you can enjoy more simple pleasures easier than anyone else. This also helps give you real world experience for the future. Your already better equipped to make it on your own. Look around at the small things that you do have, that a lot of people don't and you'll start to feel rich. Your little sister sounds adorable, and your parents, they are trying their best I'm sure, and they're still married, still supporting you guys to their best ability. That is something to be proud of. This is the stuff that really matters. You have a heart for people, not items. This will get you very far in life. Your life is set up to give you the best of the world. People who experience more hardships and more difficulties get to enjoy the beauty of what the world has to offer that much better. When it comes to you, you can actually apprietate it, unlike people who it has been just handed too. When you go to college, you will know that you earned. Remembering, Harvard is a great dream, try your best for it, but don't get your hopes up if complications stand in your way. There are alternative routes to get to where your going. It doesn't matter how you get to your destination, all that matters is that you get there, and your on your way.

I really wish you the best of luck with everything. It's frustrating, but remember that things will get better. You just have to work for them.

Feel free to PM me if you would like.


Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."

   
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Guile Offline
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Re: Depressed - February 16th 2010, 09:49 PM

I don't know, I am very monetarily focused, money makes me happy, not people. I am happy when I have things, it is just who I am. It just seems cruel that I was made by God to be like that, yet given the opposite of what I need to be happy.


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Geosynchronous Orbit (Kerbin)
Manned Capsule and return (Kerbin)
Space Station and Docking (Kerbin)
Equatorial/Polar Probe (Mun)
Landing Resulting in the Loss of a Kerbanaut (Mun)
   
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BlueWolf Offline
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Re: Depressed - February 17th 2010, 11:43 PM

Believe me I feel your pain. I got a website from my friend showing me all these beautiful clothes that I know I can never afford. Yet when she comes to school dressed in it, I so envy her. I torment myself with it. Not only that, but my only vehicle(given to me my family) is old and breaking down. I need a new one, but as if I can afford it. I don't even have enough gas money to drive two miles to school anymore. I love clothes, and being able to go where I want without these limitations. I've missed out on a lot, including prom because we just can't afford it. I love going out and doing things, and wearing expensive things. Being a girl, this can be very difficult. I know it can be for guys too. I'm not saying this is easy at all. I despise it entirely. I'm already an envious person as it is, and adding to the money problem doesn't help. I mean shit, my mom and I can't even own our own house and here I am whinning over wanting new clothes!

I partly think, that we are where we are, so we can learn to cope without. So we can learn what really matters. Money shouldn't be what makes us happy. Of course it helps, but that shoudn't be the focus! By living the way we do, we learn. Every single day is a lesson, or apart of that lesson. Someday we will have money, but first, before we get there we have to learn how to live happily without it and surivive. Be able to manage. You will get there someday. At least you have something to look forward to.

As for money, find new things that you like. Try to do lost cost or no cost thngs and find pleasure in those. They say happiness is priceless. Try spending time with friends, or enjoying a pretty day outside. If you can find happiness in nothing, the others will envy YOU. I've been told this by people who have everything. That what they really want, are things that money can't buy. The ability to enjoy the little things. This also creates a much more caring person rather than a greedy one. Life shapes us into who we are. Are you going to let it shape you into some greedy person? You should be lucky to have your family and to have a home to live in. A lot of people don't even have that. You may not be rich money wise, but you are still rich. You have things that others don't, and you shouldn't take them for granted. Even if you don't see all of this now, perhaps some day you will. However, your not going to be able to make money appear in your hands. You can choose to either constantly be upset over it or be happy and enjoy what you do have. The way you live your life is your choice and no one elses.

I hope you make the right one, and I hope that you open your eyes to what's around you. Start learning from these life lessons and you will be surprised.


Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."

   
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