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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
xXbrooke13Xx Offline
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Exclamation i giv up.... - February 22nd 2010, 02:08 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i jus.....i duno....evythings all fuked up....im failing 2 of my classes in skool nd the othr ones im barely passing....my parents culd a shit less nymre,their fed up with me...i cnt seem ta get a job....cnt hng on ta the one i love....yea,thts ovr again nd it hurts like a bitch</3.....i dnt get it nymre.....my life is so broken nd messed up.......honestly theres no point nymre.....i giv up...


~*fixed what was once broken*~

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Re: i giv up.... - February 22nd 2010, 04:27 AM

Hey.

I tell this to everybody, but I think it might be valuable:

Have you talked with anyone (friend, counselor, teacher, etc.) about what's going on? I know that when I've had problems (different altogether, but still) just having a FRIEND to LISTEN can be amazingly helpful. Just talking about a problem with someone (TH included) helps get it partly off your chest. You don't have to tell EVERYONE that you know, but even if you told a couple of close friends or a teacher (doctor would work too) it might help considerably. From there, your peers and the adults around you can get you the help that you need.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i giv up.... - February 22nd 2010, 12:58 PM

Hey Brooke,

I understand how you are feeling, like there is no point to anything anymore and everything is a waste of time?

With your school work, is there anyone at school you would feel comfortable confiding in? Not neccessarily about everything you feel, but you could talk about how you feel you aren't doing as well as you could be doing in your school work. Your school should be able to support you with that, it might make things slightly easier for you.

If you can't find a job, where have you looked? Ask family and friends if they know of any and if they can look around for you. Try local job centres, newspapers, the post office. Also have you written a CV? It might be an idea to do that and wander round any shops near you and hand them in there.

Your parents DO care about you and won't be fed up of you. They love you Brooke, whether you believe it or not. As for losing the one you love, it's not easier and there isn't an easy answer to it. Try to stay strong, yea? In life people move on, things change and it isn't easy but it has to happen. Keep waiting for the perfect one, he'll come eventually.

As Chris said, is there anyone you can talk to around you? If you don't feel strong enough or comfortable doing that, what about someone on TH? I'm always here if you want to talk or vent or anything.

You are worth so much! And you do not deserve this feeling.
PM me if you need anything,
Take care Brooke <3
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i giv up.... - February 22nd 2010, 04:00 PM

brooke.

i understand that sometimes parents can expect too much, and put a lot of unnecesarry pressure, but in th very end, all that they are doing it for is your own good in the future.. only problem is that sometimes they overdo it sometimes and say a lot of harsh things. Just remember that in this case... this only makes it better to prove them wrong and show them that you CAN overcome it all... everything that you're facing, you can put it down one by one.

remember that you have to face your problems one at a time.. or maybe rather than thinking too much about the problem that you are facing... think about the countermeasures .. that might help. And always remember to face them one at a time.. focusing on one thing at a time is more effective than focusing on too many things at one time.

i wanna hear how this goes, but always remember that you can overcome it all.. we're not going anywhere because we are gonna help you out .


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i giv up.... - February 22nd 2010, 08:32 PM

i hav been working on my grades...i did 7 1/2 hours of algebra 2 hw on friday night...but my teacher wuldnt accept 2 of my assignments because on one of them i fergot a problem(i jus didnt realize 61 was assigned) and the othr two i didnt solve the equations completely.my teacher wuldnt evn giv me like half credit for it....she hates me...she had my older sister and i think she expects me to get an A in the class jus like my sister...im sorry im not my older sister,im sorry i dont get A's in math classes.....i honestly hav considered dropping out of high school and i kno id regret it but,honestly,whats the point when im failing nd my teacher dsnt evn care?there isnt one,is there?...yea didnt think so...

as for my relationship ending...ive been on and off with this fer like the last few months....but,i really love her nd i thought she felt the same way towards me...but i guess i was wrong....i dunno....we still talk nd stuff...but..idk...it hurts so much to jus txt her sumtimes....like i get physically ill sumtimes...nd we jus broke up yesterday...my friends say im pathetic fer tht,getting physically ill abt it when we jus broke up yesterday i mean....

the job thing...i live in michigan and evryones kinda been laid off from their jobs,so all those ppl hav taken the teenagers jobs nd its really hard to come by a place wholl hire a teen over like say a 40yr old....ive aplied to a lot of fast food places nd a couple grocery stores nd retail places...none hav called bak er anything...

idk....ive talked to my ex abt this stuff....but i cnt tell her this stuff nymre...i dnt wnt her to hav to deal with it...nd my friends...well...theyre kinda sik of me "complaining" so....nd id rather not tlk to my skool counsouler abt it nor a teacher....nd family is outta the question(im not supposed to be suicidal er cutting nymre,im sposed to b all good nd happy now...)


~*fixed what was once broken*~

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YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

so over you

KEEP MOVING FORWARD


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i giv up.... - February 22nd 2010, 08:48 PM

Sweetie I bet your not completely failing. Talk to another teacher and tell her what you are feeling, maybe they could do something about it? Ask for extra help after lessons with your maths teacher, if they see you want extra help they are more likely to be "nicer" to you. Teacher was probably just being a bit picky when she was talking about you missing a question out... Sometimes teachers can be like that, try not to worry about it.

The point is that you've already said yourself that you'd regret it.. If you see that now then why go through with it? You know you'll only feel worse afterwards.

You aren't pathetic at all Brooke, losing someone in a break up is never easy for anyone and your friend shouldn't have said that, she would expect more from you if she had just broken up with someone. Things in life (i.e. break-ups) affect people differently and people deal with them differently, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing at all.

Mhm with the job thing, maybe leave it a few months? Will students leave around June/July time, so student jobs will become more available? If not then don't beat yourself up about it, if everyone is having a tough time finding jobs then it isn't your fault honey.

Ahhh I know what you mean about you're supposed to be "happy" now... Try finding an online counsellor you could talk to? That way you never meet them and they can't tell anyone. If not, there's always people on here who will be around, Chat Room is a good place to meet people and chat to them. However I really would like you to think about talking to someone, okay? I think you need someone to open up to, my PM box is always open if you need it honey.

Take care of yourself <3
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i giv up.... - February 22nd 2010, 09:32 PM

yea,alot of students will be leaving for college and such at the end of this skool year,so i guess i culd wait a lil longer on the job.

im working on my grades,really,i am trying...its jus reaaally difficult right now...all i wanna do when i get home is sleep nd text nd go on the computer...homework really isnt one of my priorities when i get home...idk...i guess its cuz of my constant headaches but really i dunno...

yea..my friend kept txting me,but my fone died,i ws jus ignoring her nyways...she wuldnt leave me alone abt the whole break up thing nd how im gettin ill abt it nd all tht....honestly im about ready to tell her off for it...

thanks guys=] i feel kinda better now


~*fixed what was once broken*~

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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i giv up.... - February 23rd 2010, 08:28 AM

I'm really pleased you're working on your grades Brooke. How about you let your teachers know your struggling? Then they will give you more help if you ask for it and maybe not be quite so harsh towards you.

Maybe stay at school in the library for a bit to do any homework, so you'll get it done? Or make yourself do it as soon as you get in then reward yourself by going on the computer.

Sweetie, do you know what is behind your headaches?

Just try and ignore your friend, I don't think she understands what you are going through at the moment. If you feel you can, ask her not to talk about the issue with you.

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better Brooke,
Take care <3
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Exclamation Re: i giv up.... - February 23rd 2010, 07:40 PM

no clue what causes my headaches,i jus strtd seeing a neruo doc tho,so i shuld find out soon..

nd naw,my sister is helpin me out with math so its kay...

but yea.....i hate my life again...wanna die..thinking abt taking my car and driving reaaaaally fast on the highway atm actually.......i cnt handle it nomre....baii....


~*fixed what was once broken*~

x7x13x

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YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

so over you

KEEP MOVING FORWARD


need or wanna tlk,pm me nytime

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Re: i giv up.... - February 23rd 2010, 08:04 PM

Okay i'm glad your seeing a doc about the headaches and that your sister is helping you with the maths

Why are you feeling so awful Brooke? What is making you hate it so much? Try to think positive and distract yourself for a while until the urge passes, please.

Keep talking Brooke,
Take care <3
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i giv up.... - February 23rd 2010, 08:21 PM

i dunno...im jus sick of dealing with everything.....its too much...i jus cant handle it all....its crushing me...my wrists hurt cuz i wanna SH so much....my eyes are all watery.....my head kills.....im freezing.....im depressed as all heck....i jus want it to all be over....


~*fixed what was once broken*~

x7x13x

I.Love.You.<3


YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

so over you

KEEP MOVING FORWARD


need or wanna tlk,pm me nytime

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Re: i giv up.... - February 23rd 2010, 08:26 PM

don't .

just remember, a relapse is only a relapse... sometimes you have to will yourself to overcome everything. i know you can do this. and remember we're all in this together.

DO NOT GIVE IN!

we all believe in you!


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

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  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i giv up.... - February 23rd 2010, 08:32 PM

i cnt....im starting to cry....i hav to go...my little sister needs me to drive her nd a friend sumwhere.....ill come bak in one peice...but ill be bak......i need to stop crying first tho.........i cnt do this nymre....my life is to much...


~*fixed what was once broken*~

x7x13x

I.Love.You.<3


YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

so over you

KEEP MOVING FORWARD


need or wanna tlk,pm me nytime

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Re: i giv up.... - February 23rd 2010, 08:36 PM

i want to tell you something...

no matter what happens, i am EXTREMELY sure that all will be right in the end. Whatever suffering you went through in the past, remember that it's all over now. You can make a fresh new start.. and that i assure you will change everything. alright? dont ever doubt yourself... don't let what other people say negatively affect you too much because i am sure that you are a much more wonderful person than they think you are

and i believe that you can overcome everything.for good reason. i rarely misplace my faith, and i am sure that this time, i know you can overcome everything. Despite whatever you have experienced.. i am sure you can move on and really be happy in the future. Don't give in.

Show me how brooke broke the barrier!


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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Re: i giv up.... - February 23rd 2010, 09:30 PM

how can everything be right in the end when all i wanna do is die?.....thats all that's running through my mind right now....dieing....nd if not tht...then SH-ing....i hvnt SH-ed in like 2/3weeks...but right now..its all i wanna do...well besides die...


~*fixed what was once broken*~

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I.Love.You.<3


YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

so over you

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need or wanna tlk,pm me nytime

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Re: i giv up.... - February 23rd 2010, 09:39 PM

Okay Brooke, when you come back and read this, I want you to know that you don't deserve to feel like this at all and that you can beat it! I know you want too otherwise I don't think you would be posting. You want help, and you can get it yea?

I really think you should talk to someone and get some professional input. They can help you the best and offer you what you need. Do you want to feel better? Start feeling "normal", or at least like most teens do? Cos if you do then you need to work for it as well, you need to take the first step... Then everything becomes easier.

First thing I want you to focus on is getting through tonight. I want to wake up in the morning and see that you are still fighting. You need to take it a step at a time yea? So in the morning and sometime tomorrow, we can talk about what to do next hey?

I believe you can do this.
Stay strong and please take care <3
   
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Re: i giv up.... - February 23rd 2010, 10:50 PM

yea,i wanna be "normal",ive wanted to be "normal" since this started...i jus..i dunno how to....i can go thru the night...im pretty sure...idk.....evything in my mind right now is all abt my grandpa tho...i keep crying nd crap....he wuldnt wnt me to kill myself er cut.....i cnt do it...im crying right now..hanks fer ur help guys..


~*fixed what was once broken*~

x7x13x

I.Love.You.<3


YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

so over you

KEEP MOVING FORWARD


need or wanna tlk,pm me nytime

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Re: i giv up.... - February 23rd 2010, 11:50 PM

Brooke,

I completely know what you mean when you say you just want to be "normal". I feel the exact same way. But with my anxiety, I can't do much and what I can do, I need a whole lot of help doing. The one thing that keeps me going though is to look at yourself rather than other kids. Don't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to yourself. See how much you've improved, how far you've come, and how long you've gone without cutting. You've accomplished so much and you should be proud of yourself for that!

You're right. You're grandfather would not want to see you like this. He'd want you to be happy and know he's looking out for you. Sometimes it helps to physically talk to someone about exactly how you are feeling. Why don't you try talking to someone from this hotlines sticky: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f3-general/t22-hotlines/ Remember, it's OK to cry. It's a way to express you emotions and you always feel better after crying, even if it's just a little bit. You are going through a rough time right now but Brooke, IT'S GOING TO GET BETTER. It always does. The pain will start to ease, your emotions will start to fade, and you'll be able to be "normal". I know you will, believe in yourself. I believe in you.

Stay strong Brooke.
PM me if you ever need anything.

Alessa


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Re: i giv up.... - February 23rd 2010, 11:51 PM

Hey again. You should DEFINITELY see a professional about this. There's nothing wrong with reaching out and getting help. At the VERY least, let a teacher know what's going on, but ideally you want to get a professional counselor involved. Your doctor might be a good place to start too.

And Also I agree with Allessa. The hotlines would be a good thing to use. And there's NOTHING wrong with crying. Anyone who tells you that crying is 'a sign of weakness' is downright wrong. Crying is a way that we release our emotions, and it is okay to cry.


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Re: i giv up.... - February 24th 2010, 01:21 AM

i cnt afford a therapist right now.....nd ive stopped taking my meds(mood stabilizers nd an anti-depressant)because of how they made me feel(which was waaaaaaaaaay worse then i am now)but i stopped taking those a while ago so.......if i tell a teacher they hav to tell my couselor nd then my couselor has to tell my parents nd...yea...no thanks....been down tht road b4,it wsnt fun....i ended up hospitalized...it prolly didnt help tht i had tried killing myself nd had to go to the hospital tht time tho....i dnt do well with hotlines....they freak me out and giv me maaaaaaaaaaaajor anixety attack type deal things.....idkk....

nd i kno crying is okay...i cried last night(tho tht was due to me watching "My Sister's Keeper")...but i myself,see crying as me showing my weaknesses so....i dnt rly like crying....but i do it...alot mre then ppl think i do...


~*fixed what was once broken*~

x7x13x

I.Love.You.<3


YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

so over you

KEEP MOVING FORWARD


need or wanna tlk,pm me nytime

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Re: i giv up.... - February 24th 2010, 01:52 AM

Well a lot of therapists take insurance so it really doesn't end up costing much if anything. Plus if you talk to someone at school, like a guidence counselor, they can't tell your parents unless you are hurting yourself or someone else. So you can still talk to them about being depressed. If you can talk to your doctor again, they may be able to put you on other medication that work better. Since your hormones are probably raging right now, it's often hard to find medications that will work, but that doesn't mean they aren't out there. Even try talking to a friend about what's going on. They won't tell anyone and sometimes you just need that one person to listen to you. Remember, it's OK to reach out. It's a sign of strength, not weakness. Hang in there.


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Re: i giv up.... - February 24th 2010, 10:50 AM

where im from,if a kid talks to an adult of importance(i.e guidance couselor,teacher) about being depressed or wanting to die,they MUST tell the childs parent,its a dum law/rule but they wuld hav to tell my parents im depressed-.-"

in all honesty,i dont want to tak nymre meds,specially not if theyre guna mak me feel like the ones before....i alrdy tak a lot of meds fer my asthma nd othr crap,so...yeaa

as for talking to my friend(s) about this,theyre fed up with me "complaining" about my life nd how theres no point nd blahblahblah....about the only "friend" i can talk to abt ny of this,wuld my girlfriend....nd i dnt wnt er to hav to deal with it right now..er at all fer tht matter...i mean i kno she loves nd me dsnt like me like this,nd shes always willing to listen nd talk...but idk..i do sumtimes nd othr times i jus dnt tlk at all nd let it sit inside myslf nd build up...its not good nd i kno its not,but,im jus not the type of person who likes talking abt his kinda stuff less i reaaaaally hav to


~*fixed what was once broken*~

x7x13x

I.Love.You.<3


YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

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  (#23 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i giv up.... - February 24th 2010, 03:22 PM

I know what you mean about not wanting to talk Brooke, i'm the same. If you aren't willing to vocalise your feelings, you need to find another way to release them. Whether try looking at the Alternatives thread (click here) and there are some alternatives and distractions that might work.

As for not wanting to bother your girlfriend, if she's willing to be there for you then take advantage of the fact. Use the support links that are around for you in order for you to get the best help possible. Even if you just try talking to her, if it doesn't work then you don't have to do it again, but you could try it once?

If you don't want to take medication then fair enough, it's not the only way to help you but it could be part of it.

Just keep talking to us on here, let it all out
Take care <3
   
  (#24 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i giv up.... - February 24th 2010, 06:19 PM

brooke, i understand how it feels like not wanting to tell other people negative stuff in order to not dampen other people's moods or some similiar reason. But the main focus over here is you getting better... any small things such as being found out or likewise, is automatically considered nothing because one little small step to reach out for help, could change the world .

Remember that people who are willing to help, do so because they are really special people, and because they care for us really deeply. Actually, i am sure that your girlfriend is definitely going to be really happy if she knows that she is able to help you out

Keep that knowledge close to you, and never forget that you are someone who deserves a lot of good things.. namely care, affection and everything else


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

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