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beachgal15 Offline
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Name: Joelle
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Location: South USA

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Unhappy Not so bad I guess - February 24th 2010, 06:00 PM

Well, after looking at everyone else's problems, it really makes mine seem like a whole lot less. But really the main thing about my entire problem is that it wasn't even something I could avoid. Like a year ago, I tried a product (cant say what right now because my uncle may be handling our legal case) and because of it my face is horribly scarred all over.

I never had great self-esteem, but now its so hard. I hate going out because little kids point at me and say things like "Look she's go spots!" or "She is sick!" and what do you do when people say things like that?

In November my mom lost her job, and she is still looking. We were able to get a free consultation with a plastic surgeon in the area, and what he said was so crushing. He told us that we could go through eight rounds of lasers or so, and spend around $80,000 to get my face back to where it was.

But I can't even get a job. :*( My family doesn't even make that much in two years, and even if I was able to get a job when I turn 16 it woul take me TEN years of all my money to pay it off. Even if I went with the lesser lasers, it would still take me six years.

I hate to tell people I'm depressed, because there is nothing they can do. I miss my old self, I have so many dreams and so many things I want to do but I feel like I will never be able to do any of them now.

I spend so much time alone I have begun to hate mself. I hate my personality, I hate my face, I hate everything I do. Whenever I start feeling better, something that happens to kill me inside. I hate it.

I'm not depressed all the time, just whenever I catch myself in the mirror, or when I get rejected because I look different. And then I can tell when people are just being nice because they feel bad for me.

I just wish I could do something so I could afford my surgeries. Everyone keeps telling me I'm beautiful the way I am, but I still can't make myself beleive them. Not with a face like mine.

I don't know why I'm posting, probably just because I'm feeling really down this week.
   
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Re: Not so bad I guess - February 24th 2010, 08:05 PM

Hey Joelle,

Sorry to hear you are going through a rough time. But try to remember, it'll ALWAYS get better. I understand how it can upset you that you don't look the way you used to be, but don't let it get to you. It's what's on the inside that matters. You have to teach yourself you ARE beautiful and that you ARE a great person. So every time you think about how you don't like the way you look, force yourself to compliment yourself. That way, you'll always have something positive to negate the negative.

Keep those hopes and dreams alive Joelle. Don't forget about them, because that's what will keep you going. Keep you mind set on your goal and don't give up until you accomplish it. The way you look isn't going to get in the way of your future! If you feel you get really depressed when you spend time alone, spend more time with friends. Invite someone over or call someone up on the phone just to talk. Sometimes if you just distract yourself, you'll forget about being depressed and just focus on enjoying yourself.

Quote:
I hate to tell people I'm depressed, because there is nothing they can do.
That's not true. People can help you! You just have to reach out and ask. I know it's tough to ask someone but trust me, it's really helpful. Just having someone to let out your feelings to or having a friend to stick by your side. It's OK to tell people you are hurting. It helps them better understand you and what you are going through. When others have the chance to help you, it makes it easier for you to feel better. Don't give up on hope Joelle. It's always there.

PM me if you ever need anything at all.

Take care,
Alessa


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If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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Re: Not so bad I guess - February 24th 2010, 08:17 PM

Don't feel your problem is insignificant. Well, hopefully your lawsuit will get you the money to correct this issue.

I'm sure you're still a beautiful person, and if you strut with confidence, that may ultimately shine through. No guarantee, but its worth a try. Its not your fault what happened, so try your best to not let it weigh you down, I guess.
   
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Darrenboy! Offline
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Re: Not so bad I guess - February 25th 2010, 07:39 AM

Joelle.

I understand that no matter what happens.. i believe that beauty truly, and deeply lies on the inside. And i believe that you are a nice, and wonderful person. I think that your problems.. are not something you can ignore, just because it SEEMS to be lesser than what other people are going through. But the fact remains that no matter what happens, ANYTHING that dampens your mood or makes you miserable in a way, is something that you cannot ignore. We are going to help you, and don't ever you think about not posting just because you think your problems are insignificant, alright

and just so you know, i believe that you can go for what you want, and accomplish it...
fate has a way of rewarding those who presevere and wait.

i believe everything will improve.. and you can overcome this.


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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I'm firing mah Hugs!
   
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