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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
UltraViolet Offline
Emotionally Unstable
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Name: Lea
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Thearpist again... - February 24th 2010, 08:28 PM

i went ot the threapist again today
i havent been since before christmas
he said i didnt have to do CBT i could do other things
he said how 'sad' and lonely i must be
he said i have fear about things in social situation, fear of meeting people, and being let down and dumped by 'friends'
he said i keep getting pulled back into the past, and i cant let go of it.
he said we can work on helping me overcome, or cut down on my self harm issues...
he seemed hopefull.
i still feel worthless, unworthy of this help.
i know that maybe i shouldnt, but i've know this depression for so long.
i know i should want to pull myself out of this blackness
but i just cant, i really just want to not have to try, its like all the fight has left me
i feel weaker now i've been talking about things...

'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy

This depression is a killer...
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Darrenboy! Offline
my long tongue is long.
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Re: Thearpist again... - February 24th 2010, 09:03 PM

i think that you, definitely can overcome whatever you are going through.

the first step you have to take is overcoming your fears.. and everything. That is the most important part of overcoming absolutely everything that you are currently going through. Whatever bad thing you have went through, just remember that it shouldnt diminish your trust for people .... the really special people are much nicer and more helpful than you imagine. =)

you ARE worthy of any help and support you get.. and you deserve as much as possible.

alright? so no matter what? have confidence in yourself.. there's happiness waiting behind all of this.. in the positive way.

we are all right behind you!

Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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I'm firing mah Hugs!
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Make A Wish ☼
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Re: Thearpist again... - February 24th 2010, 10:37 PM

Hey Lea,

I'm very glad that you found a therapist who is so hopeful and ready to help you out. That is a great support system already!

It makes sense that you don't want to leave the "darkness." You said you have had depression for a while. You, your body, your mind, is used to the depression. It's almost like you find comfort in being sad, and that being happy and hopeful is a foreign feeling. I'm the same way. I have had depression for 7 years. And leaving it behind is proving to be harder then I though. I too, find comfort in being in the "darkness."

However, I'm going to assume that you set up this therapy appointment. Even if you didn't, you still went. Which means that some part of you, however small it may be, wants to get better! Listen to that part of you. Because that part is probabaly the same part telling you that you deserve to get better. Because you do.

The fights still in you, Lea. Just dig it out! Keep fighting.
PM me anyime.

Life is to short to put it off anymore
You gotta live it before itís too late
I canít turn that clock back around
On what youíre dreaming about
You better do it now, donít wait

Do something crazy and dumb, while your still young. <3

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survivor. :)
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Re: Thearpist again... - February 24th 2010, 10:48 PM

Hey Lea,

If your therapist sounds hopeful then that's a good thing yea? It means you should have hope. It shows something can be done about how you are feeling.

You really aren't unworthy of his help, I promise you that. Hopefully with time this feelings will leave you and you will feel better about yourself. It's hard to talk about things and get things out in the open.

I know what you mean about feeling weaker. I think it's because someone else knows the dark things that go round in your mind, and maybe you feel threatened by that, or powerless over it?

You are so strong to have got this far, and you can keep fighting Lea! I believe you can. I think you are so brave for getting this far and i'm really proud of you, even though I hardly know you!

Take care of yourself <3
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