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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
gcastillo2 Offline
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Name: Guadalupe Castillo
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Unhappy :/ I'm done - February 27th 2010, 04:24 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't know what to do anymore, i've lost all hope. When i'm with my friends in school I fake happinnes so they would not notice what i'm going through, I don't feel like doing this anymore it has become a hard task. My past haunts me everyday. I started giving up in life, I don't care about doing anything but sleeping and just lying their not wanting to get up. I don't even feel like being at home because i'm costantly in a fight with my mom or brother, she constantly critizices me and tells me that i'm useless. Practically everynight i go to sleep crying, and i don't feel like fighting for the future anymore it's to much. Lately I have been getting thoughts about ending my life, the thought of taking pills enters my mind, it scares me that they are within my reach.
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Re: :/ I'm done - February 27th 2010, 05:24 AM

First off, do not end your life!

Second, maybe if your friends knew you were having problems, they'd be willing to help you. Perhaps you should come out to someone, since it sounds like you've got Depression. If you go to a professional, even a school councellor, you CAN get help and get better.

Don't give up.
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Re: :/ I'm done - February 27th 2010, 05:26 AM

Hey Guadalupe

Trust me, I've been where you are, almost exactly: having to act around your friends at school, having no motivation to get out of bed, hating to be around my family. And I just want to let you know that everything will be okay. I also acted on impulse and tried to take pills and it didn't end well at all. I ended up at the hospital and then a clinic for 2 weeks and while it did eventually lead to me managing to come to terms with my life and getting out of the depression, it was so hard and its just not worth it to try that way.

Hon, I promise one day it will get better, so if you want to sleep and just not deal with other people right now, thats fine. Maybe all you need is rest, physical and mental. You just have to know that eventually you have to square your shoulders and face the world again and find some motivation.

Take care of yourself, okay?

Yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
But everything that lives is born to die
And so I say to you that nothing really matters
And all you do is stand and cry.

Music is life. Start living.
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garin Offline
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Re: :/ I'm done - February 27th 2010, 05:57 AM

I have been in that dark hole. the cold and dark one that leaves you lying on your back in darkness not wanting to get up, wanting to just fall asleep and not wake up and it hurts, alot. As a guy, it hurt even more cuz i was raised to believe that i wasn't allowed to cry because I am a guy. It would still become so painful i would just curl up in my bed and cry myself to sleep. I don't know why you are in that hole but maybe my experience can help. I was going to end my life with pills because my pain was loneliness. I wanted someone who wasn't family, a girl who would be my friend and more, a girl that would listen to me and care about me. I wanted that so bad that i couldn't see anything else beyond it. being around family and friends blurred into this painful diorama that i couldn't bare to see anymore. In the end, a friend who knew i was hurting introduced me to someone that he knew. love at first sight, no lie. everything clicked. she and my friend pulled me from the dark hole. it was then that i had a thought occur to me that i want you to always remember. 'you never know' Always know that no matter how dark that hole is, there WILL be someone there who will pull you out. I promise that if you can be patient and weather the rain pouring in that hole, the day will come when you will get out of it. Please remember this.
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Re: :/ I'm done - February 27th 2010, 06:14 AM

Hey. Suicide is permanent. You DON'T want to end your life because of a TEMPORARY problem.

As someone else has said, I would suggest talking to your friends. You don't have to tell EVERYBODY you know, but tell 2 or 3 that you are close to what's going on. If they are really "friends" they will be considerate enough to try to help you out if you express what you are feeling. Just TALKING about what's going on can naturally make you feel better.

If you're not quite sure as to how to bring this up, I would suggest looking at this thread:

If you want to discuss anything there, you can PM an Admin/Mod and ask them to reopen it for you. PM me with anything!

You can always contact me to talk about anything!
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last updated on 11/11/17
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
lilacsky Offline
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Re: :/ I'm done - February 28th 2010, 12:51 AM

Hey, you know you can hang in there, remember , that you only have one life and you can change it, no matter what you can do it, don't give up.... :-)
And you can tell anyone that you feel you can trust to talk to....

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