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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
*MusicIsMyLife* Offline
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Name: Rebecca
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Location: Canada

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Join Date: January 18th 2010

Unhappy Depressed, Suicidal - February 28th 2010, 02:44 AM

I am feeling very depressed and suicidal. There are so many things going on in my life.

First of all, some girls that are supposed to be my friends are bullying me by calling me really mean names and by pushing me around.

Second of all, I was sexually assaulted some many times. I am really scared. I think that it's all my fault.

Third of all, my parents hate me. They wish that I was never born.

Fourth of all, I just think that cutting my wrists is my only option and that everyone will be happy and that no one would care. I have know friends because everyone hates me.

I am going to cut now!! or tomorrow, or something.

“Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you'll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone.”
― Taylor Swift
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Liz94 Offline
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Re: Depressed, Suicidal - February 28th 2010, 03:21 AM

Firstly your mum and dad do not hate you. They are probably upset and angry that you are not opening up and telling them how you feel as parents can sense these sort of things.
As for the abuse I know it is really hard but you have to tell someone he needs to be locked up. Find someone you trust confide in them. If you can't say it out loud print off what you told us/typed us on here and give that to them.
You should also report your friends about the teasing this is unacceptable and if they are treating you badly then they are rubbish freinds and you are better off without them. Maby it is time for a new you try chaning your look and your friends find a new group of girls and slowly start talking and mingling with them. This change of scene can do wonders on your self esteem. It is worht a try.
Remember this...people care about you it may not seem like it right now but you are wanted and needed. Ending you life isnt the answer think of how your death will upset many people and could even cause someone esle to commit suiside. As for self harming you know deep down that in the end it only makes things worse and that after those 2 seconds of release you will yet again feel down, upset etc. So please be strong, fight on. You can get through this you will get through this.

"Casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2

PM/VM me anytime
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
"Bisexual" Tux (Linux Mascot)
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Re: Depressed, Suicidal - February 28th 2010, 03:27 AM

Hey there. I'm so sorry that these things have happened to you.

There ARE people who care about you. Deny it all you want, but there is somebody whom you have come into contact with that cares about you. Your morning bus driver, a clerk at the grocery store, etc.

Have you talked with anyone about this (particurraly the abuse)? It's important that you get tested for STDs and cope with those experiences. Sexual abuse is NEVER your fault. People are responsible for their own actions, therefore, the person abusing you is responsible, NOT you!

I strongly suggest that you talk to someone about what's going on. Even if it's just a teacher or another adult that you know.

You can always contact me to talk about anything!
Proud to be myself.

Need a hug? Please take one!

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last updated on 11/11/17
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
survivor. :)
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Re: Depressed, Suicidal - February 28th 2010, 05:14 PM

Hey Rebecca,

I'm so sorry all of this is happening to you, and all at the same time. You don't deserve it. But well done for posting! It shows you want help and it is a very courageous thing to do - so well done.

I don't know about anyone else, but I care for you. I'm so sorry you feel unloved, but people do love you and you are worth so much. Your parents do love you, they may not always show it but really, they do Rebecca. You are their child, nothing can ever change their love for you.

The people you referred to as friends, don't sound like friends to me. I think you may need to find yourself a new bunch of people who value you. The ones you described are bullies, not friends.

I'm not surprised you are scared, have you ever seen a counsellor or therapist about what happened? It was not your fault, not at all. Someone took advantage of you whilst you were young and vulnerable. They shouldn't have done that Rebecca, it was down to them not you. You didn't do anything to deserve it.

Cutting yourself will not solve you any problems Rebecca, it will just cause you more. After you have done it you will feel guilty and perhaps ashamed of what you have done. I'm guessing you have to hide it from at least some people if not everyone, soon it will eat you up inside.

Why don't you try talking a look at the Alternatives thread (click here) and see if anything sticks out to you. There's plenty on there, if one doesn't work then don't get disheartened, have another look for a different one. Keep trying, you will find something that will help you.

PM me if you ever need to talk,
Take care.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Depressed, Suicidal - February 28th 2010, 09:48 PM

hey! my name is grace, and im really sorry you feel so horrible. please dont hurt yourself. i have been hurting myself for a few years now, and i just decided i am ready to stop. i know you feel like everything is falling apart, but everything CAN be okay ! i promise this..
if you need someone to talk to , so that you dont feel alone or do anything you might regret, im here. you can send me a pm anytime. my sn thingy is purplesummer94. seriously, i know where you are coming from, and you dont have to deal with this alone..

and i think that somewhere inside of you , you know you dont really want to die... otherwise, you wouldnt be seeking for help. therefore, im really proud of you for seeking for help!
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