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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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shatteredsoul Offline
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Name: Doug
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Unhappy I am over the edge. - March 2nd 2010, 11:46 PM

Hello.
Alot has been going on, and I have been suicidal for 4 months. Today my brother called me and had told me that my best friend, and only friend left in this world Richard had been in an accident.
He was crossing the street when he was hit by a truck going 74 miles per hour, and died instantly.
I cant deal with this anymore. I am sick of life and have grown to hate everything in this world, even myself.

Why do things have to be so hard? I didnt do anything to deserve this. I cant go on living. I have that feeling in my throat and cant stop crying and have a very cold and heartless feeling in my chest.
I want some help, I want to kill myself but dont want to die at the same time.

I hope someone can help me before I make a final decision
   
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Re: I am over the edge. - March 3rd 2010, 06:00 PM

Hey there Doug,

I'm sorry to hear that you have been feeling so bad lately. It is not surprising that you're having a tough time after your best friend's death. It is absolutely natural to feel upset when you're greiving, Doug, and it's okay to mourn your friend's passing. It's okay to cry.

No, you did not do anything to deserve this, Doug, and it's very good that you realise that. None of this is your fault. Things can and will get easier for you, even if it does take some time. I'm glad that you want to be helped and that you've stated that you don't want to die. I think the thing here is that you want to get rid of the pain, as anyone would. You will not feel like this forever.

There are plenty of people who you could talk to about how you're feeling right now. You could consider talking to a friend, a family member, teacher, doctor or counsellor. There are so many people who are willing to help you get through this, you just need to reach out.

Keep strong.
   
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Re: I am over the edge. - March 3rd 2010, 07:26 PM

Hey Doug,

Remember me? Well I'm back again and I'm really sorry to hear things still aren't going well. But you know what? They will get better. I can promise you because at this point, things can only get better. And little by little, they will. I'm sorry to hear about your friend, that must be extremely hard. But you have to think, he wouldn't want you to end your life over him. He would want you to be happy and reach out to others. Remember, he's watching over you. Like Stephanie said, it's ok to cry. Talk to your brother about his death. It's good to talk. Sometimes you just need to let things out.

Reach out to someone in your life. Let them know you are suicidal and you need help. Because when things get to this point, you can't do it alone. You CAN get better and you WILL get better. But you're going to have to keep on fighting to get there. I know it seems impossible, but you can do it. You've come so far. Think of the look on your brother's face if he found out you killed yourself. That would tear him apart. He loves you very much and I'm sure he would much rather you talk to him about what you are going through than keep it all inside. I wish I had a magic wand to just cure you so you could be happy and want to live, but I don't. So you need to dig deep, find that strength buried in you, and use it. I'm always here for you ok?

Let me know if you ever want to talk.
Stay strong,

Alessa


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If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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shatteredsoul Offline
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Re: I am over the edge. - March 3rd 2010, 08:11 PM

Thank you two very much.
I just dont see how anything will get better. I want some help with this but im not really that close with anyone, and its hard to say it on a forum and impossible to say how I feel in person.
I have been trying to shut the feeling out all night until now and alot of things have crossed through my mind and every single one of them was suicidal. I dont know what to do.
He was the only person I ever really talked to so now I feels like my rope to the world just got cut, and the only person I really care about.
   
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Re: I am over the edge. - March 3rd 2010, 09:02 PM

Maybe you could reach out to your brother since he seems to be pretty close with you? If it's too hard to physically talk to him, write him a note. Print out this thread. Just tell someone. I know it's a huge step, but it's totally worth it Doug. Let it out, you'll feel better. Scream, cry, throw a fit, whatever makes you feel better after. Hang in there, keep your head up.


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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