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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Chibicat16 Offline
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Unhappy Deep depression - March 3rd 2010, 01:49 AM

So I wrote this on another site. But it didn't really help. I just use it to vent but now I really want help cus i dont wanna be sad anymore.
This is what I wrote:

1.)Well my computer room ( has 2 computers) is always freezing. So it makes me want to spend as less time as there is possible in there. Not to mention it floods almost twice a year, and the carpet has rust on it, and is really embarrassing when people come over. But I guess its one of the things you have to live with when your poor.

2.)Highschool has killed my spirt of doing anything but just sitting there as stiff as possible so there's nothing to make fun of. But people always find something. And when I went to the counselor for help about something the staff was doing. She decided to tell the staff and have them put hair in my drink and then sat back and laughed as I drunk it because I was really thirsty. (didn't realize the hair was in there till it was almost gone). Also when i wrote my testimony she decided to go show everyone so there's school staff going around talking about it...
I'm not making any of that stuff up....

3.) When you think you have friends when you really don't. Because they wanna wait till you leave to say things they could easily say to anyone else. I'm not talking about all my friends.

4.) After all that is done I go home and have to look at how poor I am. And there's nothing I can do about it. My sister doesn't have a bed...not mention the lack of other things in my house.

5.) Recently went to the crazy home for depression and trying to hurt myself for all the crap listed above ^..then collapsed from not eating and the meds. So now I owe over 1,300 dollars. Which I have no way of paying.

somehow I find a reason to put a smile on my face..because I know, maybe one day it will get better.

normally I wouldn't share this stuff but it feels better to write it down
   
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Re: Deep depression - March 3rd 2010, 01:54 AM

It's good you're optimistic!! That alone can change so much. But it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate, so I say divide and conquer. Look at each thing, and try to figure out how you can better or change your lot. Do you have a job? and who do you live with? PM me if you'd like, and take care of yourself.


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Re: Deep depression - March 3rd 2010, 02:06 AM

I live with my mom and there's no way that i can get a job cus she wants me to go to school first.
   
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Re: Deep depression - March 3rd 2010, 02:09 AM

That's great that you are optimistic, something good would happen i promise. In the end you would look back at this and laugh you will find that someone that will make you feel good . If u ever need help don't hesitate to PM me I am here to listen, sometimes a perfect stranger can help u out more than someone u know.

"Remember to always smile wether you are sad, mad, deppressed, because u never know who is going to fall in love with that smile".
   
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Re: Deep depression - March 3rd 2010, 04:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chibicat16 View Post
I live with my mom and there's no way that i can get a job cus she wants me to go to school first.
school does always come first. but don't think too hard into it. focus on school. after high school (if that's where you are), find a job and help out. It'll make you feel better, too. take care, and don't lose faith. You have me, and everyone else here in your corner(:


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Chibicat16 Offline
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Re: Deep depression - March 3rd 2010, 04:13 AM

i wrote this the day after i got outa highschool so it was still fresh on my mind, i still feel the same way now though just not that strong enough to were every second im looking for different places to kill myself and how. Right now im think about going back to cutting myself.
but as of now i just stay at home everyday dont do anything, and can't do anything because i dont have the freedom to. I'm babied too much. I'm not able to handle my own business i have to wait for other people...and the other people most of the time are to focused on there own problems, so i dont wanna bother them.
   
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Re: Deep depression - March 3rd 2010, 09:04 PM

you should talk to someone, things areound to get better. Lately I have been fealing the same, I just want someone to listen. PM me if you just want to talk, I am here to listen.
   
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