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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
fall to romance Offline
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Think happy thoughts... - March 4th 2010, 12:23 AM

Things were looking to be a little better today. Sure I woke up as my class was starting. Yes it's rainy...but I was able to find little positive things to hold on to today. I was even watching a movie with my sister this morning...mind you that also meant we weren't talking. Things were still alright when I came home...But now my sister's back from her class. Now she's back in her bossy, bitchy, demeaning ways. The first thing she did when she came home was barge into my room and ask, "Did you put that crap on the couch??" Hell yes I did. Because that crap is really the laundry that she didn't finish last night. But does that matter to her? Of course not. I put it there, so I MUST fold it and put it away.

It amazes me how unobservant she is, by the way. I didn't even try to cover my cut wounds from her today...and they're still red. They're still very much visible. How is it that she can't see how much pain I'm in? How can she not see that she's the cause of most of it at the moment? After failing to get into my room last night, however, she did call our dad and tell him that I'm depressed. At least now she's not calling me "emo." At least now she might possibly understand that I actually do have something going on with me. But if she does understand that, why does she keep treating me this way? As though I'm completely worthless and everything I do is wrong? As though I'm a maid? As though I'm an incompetent, no good imbecile.


-B
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R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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Re: Think happy thoughts... - March 4th 2010, 02:35 AM

Hi there!
*hug* okay, wow, things sound tough with your sister. Have you tried speaking honestly and openly with her? mayb e something is bothering her, but it doesnt sound like its your fault. Feel free to PM me! (:


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Re: Think happy thoughts... - March 4th 2010, 02:38 AM

This has to be her way of coping with things, taking them out on u. Maybe somewhere in her mind she know that she can boss u around because ur a nicer person....this is what im thinking im not sure....

but im i think she shes ur cuts but she choose to ignore your pain , which is really messed up
   
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Re: Think happy thoughts... - March 4th 2010, 03:54 AM

I have tried talking with my sister, Toz, but she won't listen. She brushes aside my comments as though they're nothing or ignores them completely. She makes excuses for my behavior, saying that I'm just trying to be emo or some crap like that. I've been trying for two years now.

And it's very possible, Krystal, that she deals with her stress by treating me like this. She doesn't know how to deal with anything properly. And I think you're right in saying that she knows she can boss me around. I'm the type of person who will do anything to help others. I hate seeing people disappointed, so I do what I can for them. And though I know she's always taken advantage of me for that, I still do what I can for her.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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