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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Oh really? You think so, do you?? - March 4th 2010, 01:36 AM

Wow. Way to make me feel better. On another site, I posted what I wrote in "Think happy thoughts..." and this is what someone replied with:

"Hi!

I think you didn`t talk to her about the things you are feeling.... YOU SAID THAT!
I think you aren`t depressed... I THINK YOU HAVE A VERY LOW SELF-ESTEEM .
When you feel that way, you don`t reason, and you don`t care about your life.
some things you should do :
1- Speak with your sister about the way you are feeling in this moment. DON`T FIGHT! just talk.
2- You should watch the news... this is totally necessary! why? because you will see people suffering! A lot of people want to have your life. I mean, for example : a mother with her son dead... she wants your life for her son.
3- A lot of people don`t have arms, legs... or both of them!
4- Try to imagine your life without your sister. YOU WON`T SEE HER ANYMORE. it could be HORRIBLE!
5- you are lucky ... you MUST to understand .

When you feel depressed, believe me , i understand. I was depressed, and i was a bullshit! i didn`t want to understand tha i had everything ,everything! A house, a family, my arms, my life, my eyes... i can see the good thing of this world, and i don`t care the bad ones!
Girl, you are pretty young, ENJOY YOUR LIFE! Believe me , it`s too much short."


Riiiiight...well. Here's what I responded with:
"I have tried talking to her. I've been trying to tell her about my depression for the past two years. She doesn't listen though and she's always the first to start yelling. She brushes it off as sleep deprivation (which came AFTER the suicidal thoughts, so I know it's not). I've tried telling her that I've been feeling this way for ten years and it's only ever gotten worse. (I know you mean well, but I have to disagree with you. I am depressed. It's not just low self-esteem. Though I had pretty much no self-esteem before, I actually do like myself now. I know that everything my sister and everyone else has ever told me is a lie. I know that how they've treated me is crap and I deserve better. I once thought myself hideously ugly and disgustingly fat, but I don't anymore. The words I used at the end of my post were words she's actually called me. Those are words to describe how she treats me, not words to describe how I see myself. So no, it's not low self-esteem. And then there's the fact that EVERYONE on my mom's side of the family, including my mom, suffers from depression--as well as some on my dad's side. I'm pretty much biologically programmed for depression.)

I know that there are millions of people worse off than me. I've never once thought, "OMG! My life is the WORST! I think I'll just go kill myself because no body has ever suffered more than me!" No. In fact, most of the time I'm trying to figure out why I feel this way, because logically there's very little reason for me to. And I do watch a bit of news everyday...or read rather, as I don't have TV. I know what's going on in the world. I know there've been lots of natural disasters going on. I know about the war in Uganda where children are kidnapped and forced to be soldiers, killing their friends and family...I know about all these terrible things that are happening in the world and I wish more than anything I could help more than just donating. But I'm not currently in that position.

I'm not saying I want my sister out of my life completely either. I really do like her...you know, when she's not being stuck up, self-centered and bossy as hell. I can remember a few times growing up when she was there for me, even if she denies she's ever done anything nice for me. But I also remember the times when she chased me around the house with a knife just to get me to do her chores for her. And when she did that, not even my room with a lock was enough to make me feel safe...she'd just take off the door handle and put it back when the parents were almost home. She was never caught and she's a fantastic liar. Instead of her being punished for chasing me with knives, I was punished for "needlessly" locking my door and was told my door would be taken off if I ever locked it.

Every day I try my hardest to think positively. I try my hardest to think of good things that are about to happen in my life. I think about those soon-to-be good things so much they become a mantra. It doesn't help though.

Again, I understand that you mean to help, but this one post does not describe everything that's caused me to feel the way I do. It doesn't even begin to describe what I feel at the moment either. I know I don't have a terrible life, but at the same time, I could write a book on all the emotional abuse I've endured. It's sickening and appalling....not just what I've had to deal with, but who's been abusive towards me. And yet, I do love life. I do know for a fact that I have a pretty good life. I wouldn't trade my friends or even my family for anything. By my family has never listened. And when I try to explain to them, I sometimes have to yell because they just keep talking over me. And when I do try to explain or even stand up for myself, that makes me an overdramatic bitch.

I'm sorry if I've offended you or seemed rude, but I'm just trying to explain to you. I do know that you mean well (as I've said before), and I really do appreciate it....but this is just one post. One miniscule blurb in my life."


You really can't judge a person based off a few sentences. I mean, really? Come on. I was just talking about today...one single day when I finally wasn't feeling quite as depressed as I've been. Tell me, am I in the wrong here? Or do I have reason to feel upset by what she said?


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Oh really? You think so, do you?? - March 4th 2010, 01:52 AM

Don't be upset by this - it's okay. Some people are really cynical about these sort of things, even if they've been through them themselves. Just know that you are loved and understood by your friends. <3


"Life should not be measured by how far we can fall, but how high we can climb."



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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Oh really? You think so, do you?? - March 4th 2010, 02:01 AM

Thanks. I really am trying not to let it bother me. But I think it bothers me all the more because she's been where I am. And yet she's practically belittling what I'm going through.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Oh really? You think so, do you?? - March 4th 2010, 02:08 AM

Well, personally, if someone said that to me I would be pissed. I agree, you can't judge a person by just some words. No, I don't think you are in the wrong. I think you were more reasonable. I guess most people, like who responded, just doesn't understand what you've been through. And most people who see or hear about people with problems then they just think that they're over exaggerating and just complaining that "stuff isn't going your way" (mom's words). Please I have a friend, she has the best life anyone can wish for, she complains the hell out of everything! That she doens't have a date, that her hair isn't nice, whatever is bad she complains and says she wants to die! Please! Those people just disturb me. -_-


THE POINT OF SINGULARITY IS NOTHING AS NOTHING BEGAN EVERYTHING
PULSING IN THE EXPAND CONSUME WITHOUT BARRIER OR BORDER
IT IS DARK BECAUSE IT IS THE DARKNESS IT IS OVER BECAUSE IT IS THE END
THERE IS NO SENTRY BECAUSE NONE DARE APPROACH
IT HAS NEVER BEEN AND IT IS ALL THAT EVER WAS
AT THE CENTER YOU DO NOT FIND THE ANSWER
YOU DO NOT FIND YOURSELF THERE IS NO CENTER AND THERE IS NO YOU THERE IS ONLY MADNESS
WE ARE ALL HERE NOW.
WE ARE ALL HERE.
WE ARE.

   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Oh really? You think so, do you?? - March 4th 2010, 02:19 AM

Thank you. I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I'm just completely astounded that there are people like this in the world. especially if they've been through this, how could they say it's fake? One of my best friends (Nina Twin, who also commented on here) and I are trying to spread the truth about depression and SH. We've both been talking to classes about it, about our personal experiences with it.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Oh really? You think so, do you?? - March 4th 2010, 02:51 AM

Brittany,

I have been judged by quite a few people for my depression in the past, so I know how you are feeling about this. There are a lot of sites out there that claim to be helpful, but when we post on them we're only bashed and insulted. It causes us to be even more depressed than we were when we posted.

Believe me, I've been to my fair share of terrible "help" websites. I've even seen people giving out tips on how to commit suicide. There are a lot of offensive people online. But these are the people that I find the most pathetic. Do you think that they would say these things to your face? Probably not. They hide behind their computer screens and insult you in order to make them feel better about themselves. But they would never be this rude to you in person. They'd be too chicken.

So don't listen to the opinion of an idiot. Depression is a disease, and it literally impairs the mind. This person obviously does not have a full understanding of depression, so their opinion should not even matter to you whatsoever. Not everyone will be understanding, but don't let that hurt you or get you down. Some jerks opinion online shouldn't be the least of your concerns.

Unfortunately a lot of people don't have an understanding of depression, but don't forget there are many that do.
If you ever need anything, I'm always willing to talk.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Oh really? You think so, do you?? - March 4th 2010, 03:48 AM

Thanks for the comment. It helped to make me feel better. I'm that there are people who do understand.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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Re: Oh really? You think so, do you?? - March 4th 2010, 03:51 AM

To a certain degree shes right about people in general who are depressed everyday of the week, every week of the year, every year of there life.
But, she could of worded it all different, and not to you, to people who are as I have just said.
   
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Re: Oh really? You think so, do you?? - March 4th 2010, 04:02 AM

I know there are people in the world who do think, "OMG, my life's the worst...blah blah blah," the way she seems to think I am. And to be honest, those people kind of sicken me. Most of those people don't really know what it is to be depressed. They imagine a pain until they feel it's real. They WANT to feel that pain. But then there are people like me who try their hardest every day to feel hopeful or even slightly happier. the only reason I've been dealing with this for so long is because I've never told anyone in my family. I don't want to feel dependent on medication and therapy is really expensive. My mom once jokingly asked me if I need to see a shrink and I seriously considered saying yes, but even if I had I'm not sure she'd have believed me. But I've pulled myself out of this before. I have complete faith that I can do it again.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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