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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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idk - March 8th 2010, 09:45 PM

i don't know about anything any more. i've cut a couple years now. people didn't start finding out till this year, in the past couple of weeks my coach, parents, and doctor found out. my mom is looking into the therapy by i don't want too b/c i'm scared about talking 2 someone i don't know i can barley talk to anyone or write/type this. my parents would don't understand they expect everything done a certain way and i don't fit in that and i'm "wrong". there is one person i feel i wouldn't mind talking to but i feel like they have a life and stuff and don't want to hear about me and i'm scared she'll tell my parents b/c she's the nurse at my doctors office. and now i'm cutting behind my parents back, and i've planned HOW not that i will, kill my self but i just like to have plan just in case. and my parents would go fucking crazy if they found out- but am i crazy? but i'm know even having a plan to kill my self isn't good i just don't know what to do.


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Re: idk - March 8th 2010, 10:33 PM

Hey there,
You are NOT crazy at all. Everyone has emotions and everyones feelings are different, that doesn't make you crazy. That's great your mom is looking into therapy. I know it can be scary having to pour your heart out to a stranger, but you'll get to know your therapist. You can tell them it's hard for you to talk and they can make it easier for you. It's their job! I think you should try to talk to your nurse because holding it all inside just makes you feel worse. I don't think your parents will go crazy if they found out. Most parents are simply worried for their child and have different ways of showing it. You definately should talk to someone. If that's too hard, print this thread out and show it to them. Remember, it's okay to reach out for help. People are willing to help you, but they can't help unless they know what's really going on inside your head. I'm always here to talk if you'd like. You aren't along.
Stay strong,

Alessa


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Re: idk - March 9th 2010, 02:54 PM

Hey,

I know you will be scared about therapy. I was, I still kind of am. I haven't quite got to grips with the idea of talking about my hidden feelings to some random person. You aren't alone and it is normal to feel like this. The therapist would be used to nervous people, they will know how to make you feel more comfortable.

I think it would be good to talk to someone about how you are feeling. Once one person knows I think you will find it easier to talk to other people and let them know how you are feeling. I think you should try talking to the nurse.. If she is someone you feel comfortable it would be a good starting point for you.

You say your parents don't understand - it is very difficult to understand why someone would cut unless you have been there yourself. Could you find some websites (search on Google) that perhaps could explain it more to your parents? Ask them to look at the websites - it could give them a better understanding.

As Alessa said, you aren't crazy! You are just hurting, and everyone hurts. Equally, everyone deals with things in a different way and you have a different set of emotions to other people you know, it's the same for everyone. No one is the same.

Honestly, killing yourself will only cause your mum and those around you even more pain. It's a permananent solution to a temporary problem - that phrase is true. Things can start looking up, you can start to get the help you need and deserve. You don't know what is round the corner in life - it could be so much better! You wouldn't want to miss out on that.

Keep fighting, here for you whenever.
Take care.
Anna
   
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Re: idk - March 10th 2010, 02:07 AM

Thank you guys sooo much. i got my courage and texted my nurse yesterday and she was totally awesome about everything. it made me feel alot better, i did tell almost everything, so i'm quite happy now that i've told her.

As for my parents well, i try to explain but still they don't get it and still they are upset with me and it makes me more upset, which they don't understand. but oh well.

And therapist, i'm honestly still not totally sold about going it scares me a little too much, but maybe over time i'll change.

Again thank you guys soo much


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Re: idk - March 10th 2010, 02:01 PM

It's okay - it's what we're here for! I'm so glad you texted your nurse and that it worked out, that's great news! Proud of you.

All I can say is at least give the therapy a try.. Give it about a month and see if it makes a difference or if it helps in anyway. If not, maybe consider a different therapist or something else.

Take care.
Anna
   
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Re: idk - March 10th 2010, 06:56 PM

That's awesome you told your nurse! Maybe you could use her to talk to about everything? And don't stress over your parents too much. A lot of parents have a hard time fully understanding what their child is going through. As long as they are willing to try and help you, I think that's the most important thing.
Stay strong


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Re: idk - March 13th 2010, 12:13 AM

Hello there !! Well, what can we say here !! If your parents are going to pay for a psychiatrist then I say go for it. If you want to get better, you have to want to get better and take the first step. First of all, you need by yourself to think and ask yourself what brought about this issue. What happened ? When ? And most importantly how it affected you emotionally ? Even though you may be going to talk to someone I suggest also a personal journey of yourself, so that you may know yourself better and be better.
And don't be scared. There is nothing to be scared about. You can't live in fear because you shouldn't. So don't be afraid. Don't.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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