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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
fall to romance Offline
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Please make it stop... - March 9th 2010, 01:17 AM

I just had yet another argument with my sister. Apparently she feels that it was ok for her to chase me around with silverware and knives to get me to the dishes when we were younger because she was little. Only that's never ok at any age, and she was in HIGH SCHOOL. She also feels that it's ok for her to treat me worse than crap because that's who she is. And I quote, "You have no right to be angry at me for how I treat you because that's just who I am! I'm never gonna change!" And according to her, I've been severely depressed for the past month unreasonably. She can't handle cleaning the living room and kitchen with our other roommate for a month, but it's PERFECTLY ok for me to have scrubbed the entire apartment myself for the past year and a half without ANY help. And the fact that there's been two of them "cleaning" (really it's just lading and unloading the dishwasher...the counter and floor is absolutely revolting and their version of taking out the garbage is to take the full bag out and sit it on the floor) for maybe a full month gives them every reason to be pissy with me. But I'm not allowed to get angry for everything that I've had to deal with just over the past two years since I've lived with them. Because in my sister's mind, everything I've had to deal with gets cancelled out with time.

And apparently my sister thinks it's perfectly ok to completely disregard my privacy. I don't have a lock on my door, so she feels she can just barge in and order me about....then she gets furious with me when I demand her out and have to resort to physically pushing her out after 15 minutes of me telling her to leave. It's absolutely absurd the things she thinks she can get away with! And it's all because I used to let her get away with all that crap growing up. why? Because I always felt that I was too little or too weak. And I've always hated people feeling upset, so I always swallowed my anger or pain and let not just her, but everyone who's ever wronged me, get away with anything. But now I'm confident enough in myself to stand up for what I know is right. But as soon as I stand up for myself, I'm "bitchy" or being "unreasonable." Now my sister and her friend (our roommate) have taken to talking bad about me behind my back...like all the time.

My sister screamed in face earlier that I "just need to seek professional help and get over it!" Right well....I don't have insurance. If she'd like to take care of that bit for me, I'd gladly see someone. Oh, and if she'd like to buy some antidepressants for me too, that'd be great. But even still, it's a bit difficult to get over everything you've ever known, how you've always been treated. But she wouldn't understand that, because she doesn't understand that she's ever done me wrong. She also doesn't understand depression. She told me that she's sick and tired of my attitude. I told her I was too. I'm so tired of being angry, frustrated, and hurting so much emotionally that I can't stop crying. I'm tired of feeling like my heart might randomly combust. My sister told me she's sick of me always drawing all the time as well. That's the one thing I'm not tired of. I'll never stop drawing either. It's the one thing in this world that makes me feel happy anymore...drawing and my friends. When I draw, I go to a completely different place where nothing matters, and nothing can hurt me. There's nothing wrong in this world. There is no destruction, only beautiful creation. When I draw, I create something wonderful from the pain. Drawing keeps me from cutting. Last week I didn't draw, and I cut three days in a row last week.

I went home for the weekend to visit with my friends. Other than a small wrinkle in my plans, it was the most perfect weekend I've had in so long. I genuinely felt happy. I felt I could breathe. I spent an entire day outside hiking, talking, and walking around downtown with my two best friends. I'm back hardly a full 24 hours and this happens. But in two months, my sister and her friend will be graduating. In two months I'll be going to Mexico. And a few months after that, my two best friends will be moving in with me.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Please make it stop... - March 9th 2010, 05:18 AM

I'm so sorry about your sister treating you like that. But you only have 2 more months. I know it seems like a long time, but hopefully it will pass quickly.

I hope it gets better for you fast. And keep up with your drawing! Message me if you want to talk.


Never Give Up On Your Dreams No Matter How Hard Or Big They May Seem..... Someday you will reach them...
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
fall to romance Offline
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Re: Please make it stop... - March 9th 2010, 05:32 AM

Thank you so much. I'm trying to push pat this. I'm trying to minimize conflict by staying in my room when we're both home, but apparently my sister can't deal with that. And I'll definitely keep drawing.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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Re: Please make it stop... - March 11th 2010, 11:53 PM

I've been following your story, reading every post I can. And today, i have read just the first paragraph and this is what I say ; Enough is Enough. You can't keep living with someone like that because you don't need that. You shouldn't be hurt just because someone is the way they are. If that is the way she is and is never going to change then its about time you part ways with her and you need to begin your own peaceful journey without her interference.

You need to begin looking at somewhere else or some other alternatives immediately and I mean immediately you read this post. If there is any way I can help, tell me and I will try it. Because I too am tired of you being treated like this.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.

Last edited by Jacksonian; March 11th 2010 at 11:55 PM. Reason: addition
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
fall to romance Offline
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Re: Please make it stop... - March 15th 2010, 12:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacksonian View Post
I've been following your story, reading every post I can. And today, i have read just the first paragraph and this is what I say ; Enough is Enough. You can't keep living with someone like that because you don't need that. You shouldn't be hurt just because someone is the way they are. If that is the way she is and is never going to change then its about time you part ways with her and you need to begin your own peaceful journey without her interference.

You need to begin looking at somewhere else or some other alternatives immediately and I mean immediately you read this post. If there is any way I can help, tell me and I will try it. Because I too am tired of you being treated like this.
My sister graduates in two months. She and her friend will be moving out at that point. I'm pretty much kicking them out. My two best friends will be moving in with me over the summer.

Thank you for your concern! I'm amazed that someone really is following what's going on with me. Not many people have ever seemed to care that much about me to do that for me. Thank you. I appreciate it.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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Re: Please make it stop... - March 15th 2010, 01:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by fall to romance View Post
My sister graduates in two months. She and her friend will be moving out at that point. I'm pretty much kicking them out. My two best friends will be moving in with me over the summer.

Thank you for your concern! I'm amazed that someone really is following what's going on with me. Not many people have ever seemed to care that much about me to do that for me. Thank you. I appreciate it.
You are absolutely welcome.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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