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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
UltraViolet Offline
Emotionally Unstable
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Name: Lea
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 403
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Join Date: January 6th 2009

no control... - March 9th 2010, 05:07 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i cant help feeling like this
i feel like im drowning
like self harming isnt enough, i want to really hurt

i told the doctor exactly how im feeling
and he just said it was because of my depression, like i dont already know that

i cant cope
im losing it
i've taken a few to many tablets, more than i should

i've been reading this book, i didnt know what it was about at first
but its called 'Now, More, Again'
and its about this woman thats has different addictions

when she gives up illegal drugs, she starts to snort her ritalin tablets
eventhough its not supposed to be addictive, she should only have 4 a day oraly, but then she snorts 15 a day...
and now all i can think about is trying to snort my meds, either my ones for depression or anxiety, or both...

i dont know what to do, im so lost, really
i know i shouldnt be doing this, i know its not healthy, but im not
my mind is f**ked...i feel insane and really out of control...
what can i do?

'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy

This depression is a killer...
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Whisperer Offline
Find yourself and be that
I've been here a while
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Name: Alessa
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 1,937
Blog Entries: 118
Join Date: May 17th 2009

Re: no control... - March 10th 2010, 12:55 AM

Hey Lea,
You NEED to tell someone. At this point, you aren't safe. You need to get help immediately before you get hurt or worse. Don't be afraid to reach out okay? People are there to help you. Things shouldn't be this serious, so you need to tell people how serious this is. I know it must be impossible to live like that. If your doctor doesn't listen to you, call 911. Because I really don't want anything to happen to you. Get help Lea. Tell someone EXACTLY what is going on inside your head. You aren't alone. We all care about you.
Hang in there,


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Jacksonian Offline
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Name: Jackson
Gender: Male
Location: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Posts: 1,522
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: November 6th 2009

Re: no control... - March 12th 2010, 12:08 AM

First of all, I suggest you stop reading that book. Because it seems in the long run it will do you more harm than good.
Secondly, take a look at your life and organize it. Think about things / Meditate and decide what exactly is disrupting a harmonious life.

I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
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