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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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And it hurts to say.... - March 13th 2010, 09:48 AM

After everything that's happened in the past month, I'm starting to feel that maybe it's time I went to talk to someone. I realized today that I've been making excuses not to. But today when I was out with friends trying to cope with the death of my dog, I actually opened up about my depression to a friend. Turns out she too suffers sever depression...but she talks to a therapist on campus. Talking to her made me realize that I've been making excuses because I'm actually afraid to talk to a professional. I've been dealing with depression for so long on my own, hardly anyone close to me knows about it, that the causes of my depression don't feel so major to me. I know my friends think the causes of my depression are more than justified, but because the causes have been my norm for so long, I feel like maybe I'm just being a whiny baby about everything. My friend offered to go with me to make the first appointments and to fill out the paperwork to assess your personality to match you with a therapist. I told her I'll see how I feel in the next few weeks or so and let her know if I decide to go. I don't think there's any way I could go in alone. I've been alone for so long. Admitting I need help and taking the first steps to get that help is a big thing for me and I feel I just need the support of a friend to get me in the door.

But like I said, I'll have to see how I feel. If I feel I can deal with it once again, I'll leave the matter alone. If my feeling of being ok turns out to be shock of my pet dying and I just really can't cope, I'll go in...now that I have someone who'll go in with me.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: And it hurts to say.... - March 13th 2010, 08:32 PM

I think you've made quite a big step forward in opening up to your friend, and you should be proud of yourself for doing so. Depression is a very difficult thing to talk about (hence why we have this section on TeenHelp I suppose), especially with people close to us and especially if we've dealt with it on our own for a long time. The issues do become normalised in some respects. Your friend has made a very kind offer in saying she'll go with you - it is a very difficult experience the first time around so having the company may help if you decide to go.
For what it's worth, I would recommend going in with your friend and making the appointments. It is a difficult thing to do, but having been there I can say there is no harm in doing so - I went in once because I thought I was going through clinical depression, and while it turned out not to be the case they did help me deal with the real problem (mixed up emotions over a break-up which I thought I was dealing with better than I was). At the same time, though, it is entirely up to you - you have to feel comfortable going in and seeing someone, after all. In any case, I hope things become a bit easier for you.
   
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Re: And it hurts to say.... - March 13th 2010, 10:36 PM

Hey Brittany,

I'm glad you've opened up to a friend, I hope it has released a burden for you, however slight. Now you don't have to hide it from everyone forever, people around you care for you and want to help. You have been so strong in talking to her and a friend has offered to go with you and help you - try taking her up on that while you can. It means you can get the help you need and so much deserve! You are strong enough, I believe in you.

Chin up,
Take care.
Anna
   
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Re: And it hurts to say.... - March 13th 2010, 10:55 PM

Hello Brittany,

I first want to say that I greatly respect you for taking the time to write this up and think about actually going. You're definitely not alone. I'm proud that you've opening up about how your depression is affecting you and that you've realised that making excuses won't help.

About a year ago I was in the same situation. I was unsure about getting help. I actually wrote a note to a counsellor on campus and we talked about my depression. I'm so glad I did too. I think if you decide to do this you'll be proud of yourself too.

Depression hurts. It's something that doesn't go away on it's own. I was like you and thought I could get rid of it or deal with it on my own. I suffered for 6 years with it. No matter how long you suffer with depression, once you get help, you will see a totally new you.

You're depression is real. You're not a whiney baby, or making excuses for what's bothering you. You are experiencing a real medical diagnosis, it's preventing you from seeing the sunnier side of life.

Not everyone will need to know about what you're struggling with. There are confidentiality policies that are followed. Brittany, I seriously think this is a great opportunity for you. You won't have to be or go alone, you'll have your friend, you have the support, and you'll be making that one more step to getting over your depression.

Brittany, please take this offer. It's something I'm sure you will not regret. I hope that this helped you out a bit. Remember you're not alone. Keep your head held high.

Take care,
-Em
   
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Re: And it hurts to say.... - March 15th 2010, 01:04 AM

Thank you guys for your comments. I really might take her up on her offer.

I'm really amazed with myself that I actually told her about what I've been dealing with...even if only a tiny portion.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
survivor. :)
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Re: And it hurts to say.... - March 15th 2010, 09:13 PM

I think you are so brave, and i'm proud of you even though I hardly know you! After 10 years you deserve better than this. I believe this could be a break through to you. Keep fighting and you will get to the happiness you deserve.

I'm here if you need me, ok?
Take care.
Anna
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: And it hurts to say.... - March 16th 2010, 07:23 AM

Thank you so much. I guess we all reach a point sometime in our lives when we realize and accept that we all need a little help at times.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
survivor. :)
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Re: And it hurts to say.... - March 16th 2010, 05:55 PM

Yep, well done for it - it's never easy! I really hope it works out. Keep me updated yeah?
PM me if you ever need anything.
Take care.
Anna
   
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