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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Karaniya Offline
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Unhappy I'm so stuck - March 14th 2010, 12:01 PM

I just read that most depressive episodes last around 8 months and then go away. If they last much longer then it's chronic depression and can continue for a lifetime. I've had depression for 2.5 years now, so that probably means mine is chronic. Everyone kept telling me to be patient and that it would go away eventually. I've been through all the treatment plans available in my area. I live in the UK, and the law prohibits me from just going and booking myself into a psychiatric hospital. My school has taken me off the roll, which usually only happens when a student dies, moves to a different school or is expelled. My school doesn't have a counselor. The psychiatrist I used to have refuses to admit that I'm depressed. I know that sounds unrealistic, but seriously, despite me saying that I'm depressed she keeps mumbling on about how I'm not. She's the only child psychiatrist in my city, so there's no one else to help.

I've looked at the reasons to live thread, but none of the things listed there appeal to me. When there's no one else to help and I can't think of a way to help myself, what am I supposed to do? If as evidence suggests, I do have chronic depression, then it's not going to go away by just sitting and doing nothing.

I feel so helpless. I'm afraid that if this goes on long enough, I'll get to the point where I'm prepared to commit suicide. I feel suicidal quite a lot of the time, but have never taken the leap. The longer I'm stuck here, the greater the chance of me killing myself becomes.
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wateroakgirl Offline
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Re: I'm so stuck - March 14th 2010, 05:32 PM

Everyone has different reasons for why they should live.. even if none of the reasons on the list appeal to you, that does not mean that there aren't any reasons for you to live. Think of how sad your friends and family would be if you committed suicide, and if that does not help then find reasons for living and every time that you consider suicide, focas on them. Remember that we are all here for you...

PM me anytime.
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Em... Offline
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Re: I'm so stuck - March 14th 2010, 05:44 PM

Hey there,
I'm so glad you came here with this problem. It's hard to admit that there is a problem sometimes and it seems as though yours is pretty legit.
I think it sad when people don't recognise what is really going on, but it's certainly great that you do see that something is wrong.
Have you looked into some of the mental health programs that are available for you in your country? Maybe take a look around in neighbouring cities for counselling/psychiatric facilities. It's worth you going there for a right diagnosis and treatment.
Living with depression is not easy and it can take over your life. I know because I've been there. I think it's time to really expand your sources of help to different places. It's wise to look at all of your options.
As far as the suicidal thoughts go, there are always reasons to live. I think if none of the ones on our list appeal to you, that maybe you can make a list of your own, I think that will certainly help a bit.
Another suggest I have for you is to set goals. Little goals, big goals, long term or short, setting goals and achieving them is one way to make you feel accomplished. I think it's something you should check out.
Maybe you could also read books on depression and learn a bit more about what you're going through, and sometimes in the back for indexes there are references you can contact etc. Again it's worth a shot.
Your life is worth living, and you certainly have so much to live for. Live each day in the moment, and I know you'll be able to get through this. I have faith in you.
Please take care of yourself, and don't be afraid to ask for more help.
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Karaniya Offline
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Re: I'm so stuck - March 14th 2010, 07:52 PM

I can't just up and go to a different city. My parents wouldn't be happy with that at all. I can't think of any reason to keep living, that's why I went to look at the list on this website to see if there was anything I hadn't thought of. I've honestly tried everything. Setting myself small goals, reading books, art, writing stories, chatting with friends, playing games, watching movies, going out, etc. Nothing has seemed to work. I already live in the moment, but it isn't working. I don't really care much about the future and I don't dwell in the past. However, I can't avoid the nagging feeling of suicide.
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